Telling the Truth in Love?

**UPDATE**

Please read the comment left by my friend at Shiloh Ranch. She articulates very well the questions I ask in this post. I'm going to spend time this evening evaluating my own questions in the only source of Truth - God's Word. I will post my response tomorrow morning or Sunday Afternoon in A New Post... Love you guys and thanks for coming alongside me in this.

Blessings.
----------------------------
ORIGINAL POST:

Am I missing something?

Please help me out:

I am very troubled over what I see to be a broad movement in the Church - Please prayerfully consider the title of this post and write your comment about how it applies to disagreements of theology and doctrine. I have my thoughts on the subject and what I continually hear on public radio and read on the internet and in print.

Are there boundaries, parameters and limits to the work of Apologetics or are we to passionately
unabashedly espouse our differences without personally speaking to the person with whom we've taken offense?

My troubled heart has grown to overflow in repentance over this very issue and a desire to say more on the subject but only after consulting more of God's Word on the subject?

My questions:

How do we tell the truth in love?

How do we correct a fellow believer in error?

Is there a mandate to address such things in a pulpit fashion - or are we merely being like those we rail against?

Where is the line and have we crossed it?

Tuesday's In Other Words: The Joy of My Salvation

Blessed and enviably happy [with a happiness produced by the experience of God’s favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace] are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted!
Matthew 5:4 (AMP)

.

This week's IOW quote is from a sermon taught by Robert Morris. When he began the series "Happiness Redefined" he began by explaining just what the Amplified version of the Bible shows us, that being blessed in a Biblical sense means happy and enviable. I could relate to what he was teaching because a season of mourning had been my life for many months. But then he took the message to a new level:

“Is it possible we could experience the joy of our salvation if we mourned [over our sin] as if someone had died? We cannot experience joy without mourning.”

~Pastor Robert Morris, Gateway Church. From the Sermon: “Those who mourn are happy”~

.

Throughout this series, Pastor Robert drove home the point that the Beautitudes were about more than just a state of Blessing, but he pointed to each step in our Spiritual Journey with God from Salvation to growth through Persecution. Every level listed in the Beautitudes represented a milestone in the Christian experience and a new state of Blessing that followed. So when he got to this message and shared this insight I began to say - that is what I've experienced... Truly. Not in the grief over my son, but in the grief I had experienced over my past, my sin and the cost of Salvation paid on my behalf.

.

"Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own, 20 You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (AMP)

.

For me I had shame, regret and a deep sense of guilt over my sinful past - over the prodigal years I spent squandering my youth in wild living and contaminating the lives of my children with ungodly, unsanctified behavior. I hated the person I had become back then and spent years running from the truth of my existence. I was certain God was angry with me, and would want nothing more to do with me if I poured out all those years of painful, self-induced misery before Him.

.

And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord! the Lord! a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving-kindness and truth, 7 Keeping mercy and loving-kindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but Who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children, to the third and fourth generation.

Exodus 34:6-7 (AMP)

.

I was in every way guilty of the most heinous and vile sins. I was the harlot caught in adultery waiting to be stoned, the thief waiting for them to cut off my hands, and worst of all I walked into a church as the new wife of a good, unsaved man and pretended - yes, PRETENDED to be good, too. The only problem with a past full of sin - there are skeletons from that dead life wondering around in your closet just DYING to get out. Better to get them out before God than in front of a congregation full of your "closest" friends. Get my meaning?

.

"If we say we have no sin [refusing to admit that we are sinners], we delude and lead ourselves astray, and the Truth [which the Gospel presents] is not in us [does not dwell in our hearts]. 9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]. 10 If we say (claim) we have not sinned, we contradict His Word and make Him out to be false and a liar, and His Word is not in us [the divine message of the Gospel is not in our hearts]. "

1 John 1:8-10 (AMP)

.

As a growing Christian I had heard many leaders in the church say that their past was covered by the Blood and they did not have to deal with that past anymore because it was forgiven. I began to claim that for my past, too. Only problem: I had never surrendered my past to God allowing Him to cover it by His Blood. I convinced myself there was no need to confess those sins because I had already said, "God I'm sorry for everything I've ever done wrong. Thank you for forgiving me in Jesus Name, AMEN."

.

But, was that enough?

.

Not according to 1 John 1:9... Confession. Naming and agreeing with God what I had knowingly done against His will and His Word to put Christ upon that cross for my personal sins. That is confession. I had more than ten years of past that I had left unconfessed. Let me tell you something about the enemy of our soul... He is waiting for us to leave some stone unturned, some sin unconfessed and uncovered - He is just chomping at the bit to get to God's throne before we do and the words he speak resound in our ears -
.

UNWORTHY, UNHOLY, SINNER, BAD, HARLOT, SHAMEFUL, UGLY, UNGRATEFUL, LOSER!
.

"10 Then I heard a strong (loud) voice in heaven, saying, Now it has come—the salvation and the power and the kingdom (the dominion, the reign) of our God, and the power (the sovereignty, the authority) of His Christ (the Messiah); for the accuser of our brethren, he who keeps bringing before our God charges against them day and night, has been cast out! 11 And they have overcome (conquered) him by means of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony, for they did not love and cling to life even when faced with death [holding their lives cheap till they had to die for their witnessing]."

Revelation 12:10-11 (AMP)

.

You name the insult and he is hurling it like a dart straight at your heart of hearts. He used all of those and more on me. I didn't want to confess my sins to God because it meant I would have to face the DEPRAVITY of MY OWN SOUL. I didn't believe I could handle facing what was hidden deep within my heart. It was not because God could not forgive it. He already had. It was because I didn't trust that promise. I believed that if confessed my sins would outweight His grace and I couldn't bear to face that possibility. .

.

But God already knew that. In 2003, He arranged six weeks to uncover that sinful heart of mine and expose my sins so we could examine them and He could cleanse me of all that mucky, messy unrighteousness I had walked in as a young woman. He had been waiting for me to trust him with the most bruised and broken places of my life. To confess to Him the most shameful and defiled moments so that He could wash them clean. Heal them. And make me new.

One night, as I lay in bed sleeping a voice startled me awake.

.

...GET UP AND WATCH THE VIDEO...

.

Believing my dinner was talking and my dreams were a bit too vivid. I glanced at the clock. 3:00 AM. I lay back down and pulled the covers up snuggly around my neck. I sighed heavily before closing my weary eyes begging for a few more hours of sleep..

.

...I said GET UP. Watch the Video...

God?

.

Watch the video.

.

I realized then I was not going to get any rest until I watched the second week's video from Beth Moore's study, "When Godly People Do Ungoldy Things." I kicked out of covers grumbling under my breath much the way a disgruntled child gets up to ready themselves for school. NOT A HAPPY CAMPER..

.

I walked in the living room, fumbled in the dimly lit room for the videos and pulled out the DVD of choice. I hastily grabbed my book off the box and sat myself down with a HRUMMPHH! in the recliner. I didn't even bother to turn on the light. .

.

Half way through my heart broke into a jillion pieces as every vile and heinous thing I had ever done began to run through my mind. My sin was overwhelming. The volumes of lies, vanity, profanity and shameless flaunting of God's standards ripped at my heart, my soul and my mind. I felt like a knife pierced my heart each time a new memory clouded my mind. One by one, I began to confess those horrific images out loud to God. I was on my knees, face to the ground weeping bitterly over my sin. I confessed my unworthiness and that it was my sin that had cost the Savior His life not just the curse of sin left to us by Adam and Eve in the garden. My choices had crucified Christ. I was broken apart, aching inside - not because of what it had cost me, but because of the precious price that had been paid in my place. I was weeping because of what my sin had cost God.
.

That's when it happened. In the midst of an exhausting, full-on ugly cry I confessed the last of the memories that had surfaced in my heart. Then I lay there weeping, struggling to find clarity when I suddenly asked, "God? What do you want me to do now?".

...Go look in the mirror....

Look in the mirror? But God, I've been crying. There's....

... I said, Look in the mirror....

Okay..

.

There in that mirror I saw the face of a broken woman. A woman who had finally come clean. A woman who had let go of everything that had been holding God at arm's length for so long and I saw the truth. .

.

Look what a mess you made, out of the beauty I created..

Not a moment of that sentence was condemning or mean-spirited. He said, I AM the beauty He created. A few week's later I came face to face with the price that was paid for me. The cross of Christ and His crucifixion described in graphic detail on May 3, 2003. That month in the Spring semester of 2003 changed my life.

.

Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation. 4 And in that day you will say, Give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name and by means of His name [in solemn entreaty]; declare and make known His deeds among the peoples of the earth, proclaim that His name is exalted!

Isaiah 12:3-4 (AMP)

.

I ran to God with my confessions. .

If I found myself in the midst of a sin, conviction overtook my heart and I poured it to God right that moment. I still pray daily and tell on myself to Him. I tell Him everything I know I've done and I ask Him to make me aware of anything that I have left unconfessed. Oh and the beauty of it is that He does it so gently, so kindly - not accusing or angry. He just says, "See Here, Child. This is what I want to deal with." And it is done.

.

The hardest part for me was receiving that grace. But just a few months ago I stood in my bathroom with a song in my heart I didn't understand. Whitney Houston's voice rang through my heart "The Greatest Love of all is happening to me... Learning to love yourself, it is the greates love of all."

.

I turned my chin to the sky and cried out to GOD, "Why is that the song in my heart today?".

Then I saw my reflection in the mirror. His love washed over me anew. He was singing that song over me - the Greatest Love of all is God's love, and it has been happening to me over the last few years in a mighty way. He wants me to see myself through His eyes, live my life in His will and receive His forgiveness with a heart full of joy for the Salvation that I have been afforded..

.

That day as Pastor Robert taught that message on mourning resulting is us being happy, he concluded the message with this Question: "What if we really mourned over our sin as if someone had died?".

.

BECAUSE SOMEBODY DID..

.

2 Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. .

.

3 Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds. .

.

4 You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood. .

5 And have you [completely] forgotten the divine word of appeal and encouragement in which you are reasoned with and addressed as sons? My son, do not think lightly or scorn to submit to the correction and discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage and give up and faint when you are reproved or corrected by Him; .

6 For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes. .

7 You must submit to and endure [correction] for discipline; God is dealing with you as with sons. For what son is there whom his father does not [thus] train and correct and discipline? .

.

9 Moreover, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we yielded [to them] and respected [them for training us]. Shall we not much more cheerfully submit to the Father of spirits and so [truly] live? .

10 For [our earthly fathers] disciplined us for only a short period of time and chastised us as seemed proper and good to them; but He disciplines us for our certain good, that we may become sharers in His own holiness.

Hebrews 12:2-7, 9-10 (AMP)

.

OH I DO LOVE HIM SO!

.

.

.

.

If you would like to share your insights about today's quote, please link up to your own post here using Mr. Linky and then leave me a comment. Thank you so much for stopping by today! I'm so blessed to have been able to share this quote with you.

For more information about Tuesday's In Other Words, please visit Loni at Writing Canvas and check it out!

A Few of My Favorite Things... 'Bout Him!

**WARNING!! SAPPY, GOOEY, OOEY, STUFF ENCLOSED** READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
.

Last night younger child said to me, "You too are like OOEY, GOOEY, MUSHY kind of people now!" YEAH!

.

She said this because I was heading out to Bible study and realized I had not had a good long embrace and kiss from my hubs since picking him up from work yesterday. So, he offered me a peck on the cheek and I said, "Oh No, No, No."
.
I put my arm around his waist and said, "We have not had our hug today."
.
He said, "Oh well that's cause you been busy running here and there." (TRUE!)
.
So we snuggled up in a big hug and exchanged a few sweet kisses and soft words of affection while Taylor let the dog out the back door. She said, "Ya'll are going to be all mushy now aren't you."
.
She then reframed that statement. "I mean, in a good way."
.
I love it. I reminded her this is what a healthy relationship looks like when you have a license for it.
.
I was all warm and fuzzy as I stepped out into the cool night to make my way to Bible study.
.
NUGGET FROM BIBLE STUDY: Taken from the story of Gideon in Judges 7 - Spiritual Battle begins with WORSHIP! Now there is a truth that will set you free. (We are "BREAKING FREE" by the way.)
.
I love that man of mine. I returned home to find him reading the book I bought him over the weekend and settled down to resume my task of learning to master Sudoku puzzles. I finished two all by my lonesome last night - WOO! HOO! Small to you, big to me... So deal with it.
.
So as Valentine's Day comes upon us I want to tell you a few of my favorite things about that MAN of Mine:
.
1. My husband prefers warmer climates to colder ones. And... when it comes to him, SO DO I. We officially met in June and began our journey of love in those HOT, TEXAS SUMMER DAYS. He often would come down after work. My hubs has always been a construction, work outdoors, sweat a lot kind of guy. I must tell you that when he comes in from work and hugs my neck, I get all warm inside. His smell is almost intoxicating. It is a mixture of sweat, laundry soap, cologne and deodorant. It is most definitely uniquely him and it is one of my favorite smells in the whole wide world.
.
2. That he never leaves the house without kissing me goodbye. (Second: That these days I'm awake to receive them.) But whether or not I'm conscious for the kissing, he is faithful to wish me well with a sweet kiss goodbye.
.
3. The way he looks at me. His eyes were very nearly the first thing I noticed once I started to get to know him. I have written before that he has mood eyes, but in those early days they were that sweet amorous color I have grown to fondly call -"The Color of Fresh Sliced Limes." His eyes on me can make me melt in a second. Maybe less.
.
4. The way he looks [PERIOD]. I remember before we even met, and before I knew who he was... He used to swagger around in his hat, his Ws and his boots and I would think... He is just another heartthrob cowboy who'll break a heart in a second and move on. I did not know this man would not even dare ask a woman to dance - but dance with any woman who asked him. I didn't ask. Nevermind the details... I can tell you that the first time we danced together it was because HE, yes, I'll say it again, He asked me. :o) I found my walking, talking dream man in this fella' and I was sure it wouldn't last. As he said after taking the Five Love Languages test, "SURPRISE!" I tell him all the time I loved him all my life... Even before we met he is the man I loved in my dreams.
.
5. His hand in mine or at the small of my back. In Hope Floats, Birdie is describing how being with her soon-to-be ex-husband, Bill, made her feel safe. She said, "The way he'd look at me with his eyes, and the way he would put his hand on the small of my back and guide me through a room... It made me feel so safe." Being close to Scott always makes me feel safe. I love it when he takes the lead and even if he lets me walk in front of him - he shows me the way with a quiet reminder of his hand upon my back. It is the sweetest feeling in the world.
.
6. And while I'm at it... my favorite sound in the whole world is when I lay my head on his chest and listen to the strength of his heartbeat.
.
7. That he has been patiently teaching me to "see" the numbering patterns in Sudoku puzzles. He even checks my answers and lets me figure out what I did wrong! I love it.
.
8. WHEN HE PRAYS. This morning he prayed so sweetly to the Lord. We've been at this every morning since the first of the year and the progression of his prayers has touched deep places inside of me. His children are on a prodigal excursion right now and we are praying for them... He asks the Lord to continue the work He is doing in their lives. I told him this morning, "You are asking by faith for something that you cannot see is happening but believe He is doing anyway." Oh how the Lord grows us up! I'm marvelling at the beautiful way He is working in my man's life and through his prayers. GLORY TO GOD! Thank you, Lord so much for giving me a man like Scott who is willing to learn to be the man You have called him out, set him apart and ordained him to be. I love him, so... and You, too.
.
9. His Warrior Spirit. My man likes to conquer and not just conquer but to WIN! I almost nagged that warrior spirit right out of him, until I realized God gave him that spirited determination - he gave it really to all men, but so few of them thrive in it anymore. I want him to be the warrior in Christ he is called to be. He is our provider, our protector, and he has been assigned the role of Priest for this family, Prophet for our household and King of our Home. He is learning to exercise his dominion well under the leadership and authority of Christ.
.
10. When He says I love you. I am going to include in this when he writes it as well. Almost more so when he writes because I know writing comes so much harder for him. Yesterday's email subject line was: "What if you did not have nail fungus?"
.
Okay... That may not be the most romantic thing in the world, but it is funny. He swears to me he typed in "good morning" and the computer ate his words and regurgitated them as "What if you did not have nail fungus?" But I have my suspicions that he was just being funny since we are seeking a treatment for that very thing on his feet. Things that make you go HMMM! I print out his emails and post them around my desk so I can read them throughout the day. They are one of the sweetest things.
.
That's my top then things that I just treasure about my man. How about you? What are some things you favor about that man of yours?
.
BONUS: A few years ago, my hubs and I were members of a small group at our old church. One night we did the "EMPTY CHAIR" encouragement exercise. I was reluctant to do the turn in the chair 'cause I never quite feel comfortable receiving affirmation.
.
The goal was to sit in the chair with your back to the group and then each one would take a turn to say one word or phrase of encouragement or they could identify one positive thing you bring to the group. It seemed like that night each person who sat in the chair was acknowledged by their spouse last. The last member to sit in the chair got to pick the next. When my turn came I wept as I listened to the people I had grown to love, admire and respect the most as my church family called me inspiring and encouraging, deep in the things of God... I could barely stand the words that were spoken because I often feel so unworthy of such accolades. My heart then heard God whisper, "Just listen with your heart."
.
My husband, as seemed to be the unspoken rule, shared last. He said, "Michelle does know a lot about the Bible and she does know a lot about God. But for me, I guess the thing she does the most is she explains it in a way that doesn't make me feel [less than her ]* and helps me understand." (* I don't remember the exact word he used there, so rather than lie - I'll just express what it said to us that night.)

.
I was UNDONE. The most precious words my man ever said actually spoke this to his wife's heart, "It's okay that my wife loves God so much and spends so much time in His Word because what she does helps me."
.
Happy Valentine's Day! Remember Love always, trusts, always protects, always hopes and always perseveres... Love Never Fails. (1 Corinthians 13)

The Sweetest Gift: A Tomato and A Rose... In that Order

Yesterday was grocery day. Hubs, Taylor and I went to the local Wal-Mart* and bought our two weeks worth of food and odd household/personal items. I wanted to get it done before the storms landed on us and with eldest going to work at 5:20 that gave us nearly an hour and a half to get the deed done.
.
As I have shared in earlier posts, Hubs and I did the Five Love Languages test and we both ended up with gifts being important but not most important. So... I've been buying him little gifts and even a few really nice ones this past month while I'm out and about during the day. He also bought me a gift on our Date Night Challenge - 15 songs on a Wal-Mart MP3 gift card and bubble bath. I still have not officially decided which is my favorite. For now I will say BOTH.
.
He has been very sweet bringing me a candy bar or offering his blow money to buy me a meal. So this week being Valentine's the store was chauk full of pink and red fare. I bought his gift last week and his card a few weeks ago when they first came out. I also bought him four books from Half Price Books that are written by the author he picked up at the Christian book store a week or so ago. He is reading AGAIN! Praise the Lord. He is. I feel like we made a breakthrough there. He used to read these mystical, magical fantasy books when we met. About six years ago, we began to do a spiritual inventory and I expressed concern for those books. He sold all of them.
.

God did the same thing two years ago with me about movies. I had quite a collection --- around 400 I would estimate or more. I sold every last one of those movies in a week. God was so funny. Each time I would go back to the store with a new batch to sell - they offered me more money. Not Even Kidding. I would take fewer and fewer DVDs in each time and the value would increase remarkably. Things that make you go HMMMM!

.

I remember that my family almost went Berzerk about it. So I only sold the ones I purchased. Which were a lot. The girls have collected some 30 or 40 DVDs since my grand selling adventure but to my delight the desire to purchase movies has all but gone by the wayside. I have "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof." I bought Scott the movie about Ernie Davis, "The Express," last payday but mostly - we just don't buy movies anymore.

.

I digress... and ramble. Back to the story. So we went to Lifeway so I could look through their marraige and family section for good reading material and he meandered through the music section until he found his way back to me. As we were walking back to the front of the store a book caught his eye. It was written by Ted Dekker. I thought - okay, so he could read those. I had told him about the graphic novels Ted Dekker has and we found a few on the shelf. He said he would like to check out a couple of the series that are in the books and if they were like the graphic novels he might be interested. So... We kept looking. On the next aisle, near the end was a package of books wrapped in cellophane. Three novels. One of each of a series of books written by the same author. Stephen R. Lawhead. I thought... HMMM! These look a lot like what he has read in the past. I picked it up. The price: $14.88. I wanted to slap my money on the counter right then and declare "SOLD!" but my husband was not so sure. He perused the copies and said, "For the price, I'll try them."

..
Okay. We stepped back around to the other side of the shelf and there was one of the books in the set sitting on the shelf. I handed it to him and suggested he read it a bit. He did and decided to purchase the set. This was two weeks ago today. He has read all three books. We ordered the remaining books in one series and a new series of books from Half.com and then I found the other series he wanted to read at Half Price Books for just over ten dollars. I was so excited. I felt like I was on a real live treasure hunt. WHOO HOO! And I struck gold on Monday.

.
Fast Forward. We got our groceries and were all packed into the car with about 20 minutes to spare before eldest had to be picked up from school. That is when it hit me. I'm making hamburgers for supper and I forgot the tomatoes. I had been talking about hamburgers, sold Taylor and Scott both a hamburger and then realized my favorite ingredient was ominously missing. :o(
.
I confessed I would have to make hamburgers another day because my mind abandoned Tomatoes completely in the store.
.

Hubs asked again what time Britt got out of school and I said, "She has to be at work by 5:20." He said well we can go home and unload and..."

.

I told him, "I'll go get her unless you want me to stay home and put away the groceries."

.

He said, "No. I'm going to get her."

.

Done. We unloaded the groceries while he drove to the school and picked up the girl. After nearly a half hour went buy I got worried. The school is less than five minutes from our house and her work a good ten minutes from there. Plenty of time to get home. I waited another fifteen minutes and called. "Baby, is everything okay?"

.

"Yes. I'm just checking out. I went to the store to get the tomato you needed."

.
My heart went, "AWE...."
.

He assured me he would be right home and I was quite relieved to learn he was indeed safe and on his way home.

.
I was head down in a Sudoku puzzle when he got home. He walked through the living room and almost made it to me before I looked up. I saw something in his hand that looked a bit too large to be a tomato and he grinned. My heart melted. He held one beautiful pink rose behind his back and a small bag with a roma tomato in the other.

.

The rose was just opening into a beautiful teacup of soft pink petals. He said, "I picked that one because it was the only one that was opened up like that. I like it."

.

I put my flower in water and stared at the tomato. I'm going to cry right now just thinking about it.

.

My man is precious to the bone. He has spent the last few weeks recapturing my heart in none to few a ways. He has been listening and engaging conversations at deep levels, we have done more "getting to know you" type of work than I could possibly even begin to tell you about. And with patience he seeks to find the words that unlock the doorways to my heart. He writes me sweet little emails nearly two or three times a week and most of all he has begun to open the doors to his own heart to me as well. I'm overwhelmed.

.

Last night was a huge milestone. He told me, as I have been telling him lately, with his actions that he hears what I need and he is willing to meet me where I am. All with a rose and a tomato. I need a photograph! :o) (So I went and took one...)

.

Stay Tuned... More of our life with the dog is coming up and then... The Great Cake Caper that Taylor and I embarked on last Friday! Yummy....
.

God's Grace [PERIOD]

As I've written here, these last few weeks have been extremely painful and difficult for me. However, God has been so good in this time of anguished reality. Yesterday, I went to a group leader's meeting for my Bereaved Mothers group at church while my hubs attended the 9:00 AM worship service. The meeting was informative and refreshing.

.

The last 45 minutes were given to the Executive Pastor of "Freedom Ministry" which is the department my group is classified under. Pastor Bob is one of my favorite teachers. He uses subtle humor, relational stories, he processes and thinks deep bringing relative worldly realities into the light by exposing the truth behind them and then he goes into exegetics a bit to firm up the revelation.

.

He first thanked each of us for serving in ministry and partnering to help bring God's freedom to the lives of others through our experiences. Then he laid out the foundation of Freedom ministry for us: He doesn't just want us to be about the business of giving good advice, He wants us to bring Good News - and if the good advice points people to the Good News then we are all good.

He concluded our time together by talking about the will. That the world tells us to make better choices, try harder and do more to be better and more righteous - which, BTW, is a Pharisee attitude - (See Colossians 2:18-23). He said, "God's grace is not God winking at sin or giving us a license to sin." He went on to say that to fully embrace our identity in Christ and realize the weight of righteousness does not rest on us, but on God through the cross and resurrection of Christ and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit then we can realize that WE CANNOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF GOD'S GRACE.

.

Did you get that... ?

.

Let me say it again. WE CANNOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF GOD'S GRACE. What He offers is unmerited, unconditional favor - it is FAVOR, Ya'll. Favor we do not deserve, earn or receive as a reward - it is simply God's Love for us wrapped up in His favor shining upon us.

.

As Pastor Bob was teaching on this a particular issue began to resonate and rise to the surface.

The issue? The statement I made to my daughter the day this entire mess began to unravel. "I must be gracious to my husband as the Lord has been gracious to me."

.

This last week fear and disappointment threatened to rob me of my desire to serve my husband and bring healing to our relationship by meeting his needs. I even said to him, "When do I get to be the one who was violated? When do I get to be the one who is hurt? Why do you take and take and take but never give anything back?"

.

You see, in my head I can process that my role is to be the covenant redeemer and to seek restoration in spite of what my husband's response is and not because of it. But in my heart, the wound is deep and old and it has been cut many times. My fear is that my husband will receive all I have to offer and I will be left empty and without return... I fear he will take advantage of the grace I have found myself offering him and not learn the lesson of his mistake.

.

In Other Words, I've begun to think that my response to his offense is enabling him to minimize the consequences. CO-DEPENDENT THINKING AND CO-DEPENDENT BEHAVIOR. That says that my desire to please God in my actions depends and is influenced by my husband's response.

.

So as Pastor Bob is saying, "You cannot take advantage of God's grace for you...."

.

I'm suddenly realizing that the grace I am offering my husband is not grace based on my feelings or my wounds or even how he responds to what I am doing in this circumstance... But, instead - it is grace offered based on Grace received. I am merely being an extension of God's love and grace to my husband in this time of sorting, mending and reconciling.

.

I shared with the group, "Since that is true, that means if I offer the same grace to others who hurt me that God has given to me... Then, they cannot take advantage of my grace either."

He had me repeat that again, and then said he was going to write it down. He summed up what I said, "You mean you are not going to live in a co-dependent relationship."

.

Yes, absolutely! Talk about truth that will set you free!

.

Love ya'll - Hope this blesses your socks off as it did mine. To realize that my forgiving my husband for his hurtful behavior toward me as a demonstration of God's grace and love at work in my life is not giving him license to hurt me again, but instead it is giving him the unconditional favor and opportunity to live in and experience the grace of God at work through me. Now that is the hands and feet of Jesus in action and the work of the Holy Spirit taking down my walls and strongholds.

.

GLORY! Excuse me, I need to go put my face to the ground and humbly thank my God for freedom and revelation on a beautiful Sunday morning in January! Be Free... God's Grace [PERIOD] that's all I need.