In Other Words: Wounded Souls, Broken Identities

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This week's "In Other Words" is being hosted by Esthermay at The Heart of a Pastor's Wife. Please stop by and see what others are saying "In Other Words."

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This Week's Quote:

“For most of this century we have wrongly defined soul wounds as psychological disorders and delegated their treatment to trained specialists.
Damaged psyches

aren’t the problem.

The problem is

disconnected souls. ”
by Larry Crabb

From ~ Connecting:

Healing Ourselves

and Our Relationships

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As a woman who lived out of a broken identity most of her life this quote resonated deep within my soul. My life was full of dysfunctional relationships, deep soul wounds and a broken identity. I barely ever looked in the mirror and liked the woman I found there. The tapes I rehearsed over and over again in my head were not only damaging - they were messages that were destined to self-destruct in 30 seconds or less each time I rehearsed them.
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My entire life was built and shaped around "just keepin' the monster down" as Beth Moore often puts it. Hiding who I believed I really was, the vile and awful creature who was capable of the worst, most heinous sins in every way. Oh, I tried to be better... I really did. The change just never took.
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."Used Up"

"problem child"

"harlot"

"unloveable"

"UGLY"

"unworthy"

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"she'll never change"

I was living out of a broken identity.

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What I have learned in the last couple of months is that our men live out of just as broken and just as damaged identities. God showed me how the men in my family, including my husband were driven by a root of pride. Not the puffed up, arrogant sort of pride that demands to be noticed. No... The sort of pride I saw in that ministry session was a pride born of self-protection. What I realized was that we, the women, were so rebellious that we stripped our men of their honor. The pride they held onto was a pride that said, "I must protect my position and my authority or I will not have any honor."

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Broken people, living out of broken identities in a fallen world. A recipe for disaster. Right?

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Add to this a performance and soul driven need to succeed, to be right rather than righteous and a society that says that if you make mistakes you can't be forgiven, you just need to be fixed. What does that leave us with? A MESSED UP LIFE. A MESSED UP PHILOSOPHY OF WHAT CHANGE LOOKS LIKE. A MESSED UP MIND.

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Then throw traditonal secular psychology into the mix and you begin to make excuses for bad behavior, force yourself to change on the outside when nothing really has ever changed on the inside... The cycle is perpetuated not broken. We don't know who we are, and instead are taught to hide who we really believe we are behind a mask of diagnoses, psuedo accomplishments, cute outfits, a good name, the right house, the right car, the right husband, the right church and a medicine cabinet full of escape. A Legacy of Delusion... We hand our broken and frail lives onto the next generation.

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My Question for Modern Phsychology has become: What's the point?
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Larry Crabb answers my question. He identifies the problem as an unattended wound in the human soul. For me it was a series of behaviors that manifested out of a belief system that said I was hopelessly bad and doomed to fail. Raised by an authoritative father and a jealous mother who were both living out of their own broken identities, my juevenile mind and heart received those messages about my cursed identity. It wasn't long before I began to live out self-fulfilling prophecies of brokeness, woundedness and failure.

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The truth is this: My bad behavior did not change until I realized Who my identity rests fully in. As I learned who Christ really is as well as what He really endured on my behalf something inside of me changed. I began to confess the truth of God's Word over my life for my life rather than the lies of the enemy. I take every thought captive to Christ. I allow that truth to transform me by renewing my mind - literally changing it - until I begin to feel differently about who I am and then act out of that new identity.

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In John 8 Christ tells his disciples to abide in His Word and if they abide in His Word, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." (John 8:32)We were born to live free, not bound by chains and identities based on lies and a fallen existence. I don't know about you - but that, to me, feels like redemption.
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At my church home, Gateway Church, there is a ministry devoted to helping people discover who God has created them to be and to walk fully in that calling. This ministry is called "Freedom Ministry." Freedom Ministry is not about what you stop doing. It's not about what you get free or healed from. Instead, Freedom Ministry is about discovering who God created you to be and allowing Him to free us to live in that identity.

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The heart of Freedom Ministry is Jesus' own life verse:

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17The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him.

Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:

18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to release the oppressed,

19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." [Isaiah 61:1-2]
20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him,
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Luke 4:17-20 (New International Version)
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Jesus ~ The King Who Sets Us Free!

That's My King!

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Please Visit Loni at Writing Canvas to find out more about this challenging and insight-filled Meme.

Tuesday's In Other Words: His Comfort For Us

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“To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own. ”

~Abraham Lincoln~

What does this look like in your life?
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Has someone been there for you? Stepped up and stood up in your hour of need. I have been on the receiving and the giving end of this noble pursuit. Today, one occasion stands out more clearly for me than any other.

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It was during our church's annual "First" Conference. A series of messages offered over the first four days of the first week of the new year. In 2008, I attended the conference with great expectation. Gospel Bill was closing out the services on Wednesday night. Though I had never heard him speak before, my friend, Mary, said he is a precious man of God with a heart to reach children with the Gospel of Christ.

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The message was wonderful. A time of prayer and ministry for healing was offered. I received on many levels. As I walked out into the hall with the handful of friends I had been sitting with, the women began to talk about a two year old girl who had fallen into her family's pool that afternoon. The family was among the members of Gateway Church. The story just grabbed hold of my heart.

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Here, I must confess that I often do not watch the news and miss many stories just like this one because I become overwhelmed and consumed by it. Perhaps that is why I overheard this information that evening.

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Over the next couple of days reports of the accident as well as the precious last hours of this little girl's life began to filter out. The memorial service plans were announced. I decided to attend. I did not want to be noticed or necessarily even to speak a word to this couple. All I wanted was to find a place in the back of the room to sit and pray through the service. My friend in grief, Mary, went with me to the service and shared a Scripture at the end when they asked for words of encouragement and prayer.

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I, as Mary later said, was uncharacteristically silent. Praying.

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During the service this precious couple worshipped before their beautiful daughter's casket and praised the Lord with arms lifted high. They stood and spoke, and for the first time I understood what that day in my own life must have looked like to those who attended my son's funeral.

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The mother, who had been home at the time of the drowning and pulled her child's lifeless body from the pool shared these words: "We believe to whom much is given, much is required. So it is with this. With great suffering comes a greater responsibility to minister to others." They also acknowledged that the day of the service was not a Funeral or a Memorial. The service was being held on the child's second birthday. It was a celebratioin of her life. So beautifully expressed in the hearts of this family.

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Over the next few months I sent a few cards to this family. I prayed for them often. We attended the same service at church. When I would catch sight of them I would always pray. As spring rolled in I realized that God really wanted me to lead a group for grief recovery specifically for grieving moms. I prayed ardently for the group. Met with leaders and opened His Word beginning to prepare a curriculum that would bring final healing and recovery to my own aching heart before ministering to others who hurt in similar ways. But, more assuredly, I began to pray for God to bring women who were hurting and desiring healing to the class.

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All of this preparation could not have given me a clue what God would do in the lives of the women who attended or my own life that fateful year. But, here is what I know has happened. On August 23, 2008, I received Isaiah 60:20 and God sealed the healing of my grief in my heart on the third anniversary of my son's death.

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The first to commit her attendance to the class has seen improvement in her grief, recovery and hope have been given to her immeasurably in her journey both through my class and before we got there. She has also begun to pursue starting a similar class in her own church. Healing and Equipping.

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The woman who spoke at her own daughter's funeral a little more than a year ago also came. I spoke to her shortly after the first of the year and she shared that she received confirmation of her own grief recovery the week of the anniversary of her child's death. She gave birth to her sixth child in February, and that little baby is such redemption. HOPE for the future.

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The third woman who came to our class saw her relationship with her husband being restored and left equipped to walk through her grief journey toward healing. I spoke to her this past week by phone and she shared she has been manning the prayer lines at a local Christian television station where many times she has prayed with couples who report they have recently experienced the loss of a child. She said on our last occasion to meet for the class that her greatest desire was to help those who are hurting after the loss of a child. Restoration and comfort.
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It has been an amazing journey of mercy, grace, beauty and healing. It blesses me so...

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I look forward to more semesters and future opportunities to walk with those who are traveling the road that I've been on for a little better than three years now. To speak hope to their pain, to cry with them in their agony and to hold fast to God in prayer when I know the suffering is more than they can bear. God is so faithful and He brings forth such beauty from such tragedy.

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Yesterday, my family and I learned of yet another family who is missing their beloved child. This post is dedicated to the memory of Michael Wayne Hogan II of Newark, TX who died in an automobile accident earlier this month. My eldest daughter was great friends with his sister during her middle and early high school years. This family has been special to us and their burden is now great. I pray the Lord will give us opportunity to share the journey with them as we have done with many others since Justin went home. Today, he has another friend in heaven and they are cheering for us from their places there. Glory, fall on us today.

Our Lord makes all things new. If you are hurting in any way today, please know that right this minute you are being prayed for by someone whose heart aches in tune with sorrow specifically for you. I'm praying for you as well. May His mercy, His comfort and His peace fall on you today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (NKJV)

Susan at Forever His is hosting IN OTHER WORDS this week. Stop on by and read more or what others are saying "IN OTHER WORDS" and be blessed. To learn more about this challenging and insightful writing meme click the picture link below and visit LONI and have a blessed week.

Tuesday's In Other Words: Seek Him First, Worry Less

This week's quote was submitted by Patricia at Typing One Handed... Check out her blog and add your own response to the Following Quote as we examine its meaning "In Other Words..."
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“What would happen if we stopped lamenting about the fifty things we can’t control and focused our attention on the fifty thousand things we can control? What would happen if we stopped whining about things we have the power to change and finally took charge of our lives and changed them? What would happen if we stopped borrowing sorrow from tomorrow? If we got in the habit of asking ourselves, “What’s on my plate today?”
Chocolatherapy: Satisfying the Deepest Cravings of Your Inner Chick
by Karen Scalf Linamen

I wanted to add something to this quote today... To truly say something profound. But, all I could say to myself was, "Rest in God. Anything I need to change wholly and fully rests in Him and His power to change me from the inside out." The most profound thing I could come up with was:
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"1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

ROMANS 12:1-2 (NIV)

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No sooner had I filed that little nugget of Scripture away in my brain did this one pop up:
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Who of you by worrying

can add a single hour to his life?

Matthew 6:27

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I recently made the decision to step away from hosting "In Other Words" quotes on my blog for this very reason. "The Tyranny of the Urgent" as one pastor called it during a class at church I took last year. The obsessive need we have to answer every phone call, meet every demand, conquer every deadline and be all things to all people at all times. We want to fix those who are broken, worry and opportunity our children into successful and productive lives, have our own success and kudo moments, and have the picture perfect marriage all while rushing around trying to be June Cleaver, Charlie (from the perfume ad), and that "Ideal Girl" my high school senior class hosted a dinner for in 1988. But, what are we really doing to ourselves. We're being Martha and living in a Martha world when Mary chose what was better.
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So what do we do about this dilemma?

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
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This verse of Scripture reminds me to prioritize my life not by worldly standards of material wealth and popular opinion, but by the standard of God's Holy Kingdom and Word. Devotion to God in every aspect of my life - my home life, my career, my church, my relationships and my personal devotion time will help me to prioritize and evaluate things from a godly perspective.
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25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
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I think often times, we get caught up in what society says we should look like, how we should dress to impress and what we eat and drink... That we get so caught up in the things of life, we miss the source of life all together. I have found the closer I get to God and the more He clarifies and sorts out the matters of my heart, the more I want to sort out and clarify the matters of my life. Discovering my identity in Christ and living in His reality gives me truth that sets me free. Free to clean out my closets, give up the donuts and chocolate cake, and pass by the sale rack with the most divine dress on it because He satisfies me and meets my every need in His own way and His own time. He meets my needs.
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26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
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From the least of creation to the greatest of all God's plans... He provides and protects, gives value and prosperity in every way. He satisfies their need for physical sustinance and they labor not to gain more than their daily needs. What would life be like if we were not so focused on the earthly reward of life and career and more focused on the heavenly reward of God's purpose and promise in our lives.
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27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
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There are two answers for worry and stress in Scripture that help me to maintain my focus when I am struggling to "keep it all under control." Philippians 4:6-7 which admonishes us to be anxious about nothing but to be thankful and give everything over to God in prayer that concerns us so we can receive His peace in exchange for our anxiety and worry. And, then there is the rest of God. Matthew 11:28-30 offers two invitations. The first is to receive Jesus' rest. Rest for our weary souls. To be refreshed in mind, will and emotions by God's grace. He then invites us to take up His burden - His yoke and learn from Him. He tells us that the secret to overcoming that which burdens us so - the cares of this life - is to learn from his humble and gentle heart. To give up the fast paced life for the meaningful moments with God. What would that look like?
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28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
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Again, why do we add so much stress to our lives chasing after the temporary and forsaking the divine? Does that even make sense? God's economy and value system are so very different from ours. I have found that living in the overflow of God's grace in my life leaves me wanting very little --- needing less to exist and get by. As my faith in God as my full portion and provision has grown, my need to fill my life with people and things has diminished. True freedom comes when God has full dominion and freedom to move in my life, direct my path and mark out my way... Not when I receive that which I strive the most to attain.
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31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
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If Jesus said do not worry about the basic necessities because God knows we need them, then what must we do to receive and attain those things that society tells us mark us with success and value?
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33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
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That's IT! Mary chose what was better when Jesus came to visit because she did not concern herself with impressing Him by her works of service or the value of what she served. Mary cared little how her devotion looked to those around her - she just wanted to be close to Jesus, sitting at His feet learning from Him. Seeking first His Kingdom and Righteousness. Mary's devotion to Christ is expressed so beautifully as she pours forth the expensive perfume on Jesus' feet and wipes them with her hair. (John 12:3)
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Once again we find her at the feet of Jesus, pouring out her life's savings in service to Him. An expression of devotion and value that says I trust you more than I trust in what I have labored and earned. And where was Martha? Verse 2 tells us Martha was serving.
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Part of stewardship is learning to manage well all the resources God has given us. But, to be a good steward it means we sometimes must sacrifice and take less for ourselves in favor of giving up what we value to receive what God desires to provide for us most: Himself.

Be sure to visit LONI at Writing Canvas to find out more about "In Other Words" and how you can join in this fun and insightful weekly meme! Be Blessed.

Tuesday's In Other Words: The Joy of My Salvation

Blessed and enviably happy [with a happiness produced by the experience of God’s favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace] are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted!
Matthew 5:4 (AMP)

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This week's IOW quote is from a sermon taught by Robert Morris. When he began the series "Happiness Redefined" he began by explaining just what the Amplified version of the Bible shows us, that being blessed in a Biblical sense means happy and enviable. I could relate to what he was teaching because a season of mourning had been my life for many months. But then he took the message to a new level:

“Is it possible we could experience the joy of our salvation if we mourned [over our sin] as if someone had died? We cannot experience joy without mourning.”

~Pastor Robert Morris, Gateway Church. From the Sermon: “Those who mourn are happy”~

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Throughout this series, Pastor Robert drove home the point that the Beautitudes were about more than just a state of Blessing, but he pointed to each step in our Spiritual Journey with God from Salvation to growth through Persecution. Every level listed in the Beautitudes represented a milestone in the Christian experience and a new state of Blessing that followed. So when he got to this message and shared this insight I began to say - that is what I've experienced... Truly. Not in the grief over my son, but in the grief I had experienced over my past, my sin and the cost of Salvation paid on my behalf.

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"Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own, 20 You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (AMP)

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For me I had shame, regret and a deep sense of guilt over my sinful past - over the prodigal years I spent squandering my youth in wild living and contaminating the lives of my children with ungodly, unsanctified behavior. I hated the person I had become back then and spent years running from the truth of my existence. I was certain God was angry with me, and would want nothing more to do with me if I poured out all those years of painful, self-induced misery before Him.

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And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord! the Lord! a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving-kindness and truth, 7 Keeping mercy and loving-kindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but Who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children, to the third and fourth generation.

Exodus 34:6-7 (AMP)

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I was in every way guilty of the most heinous and vile sins. I was the harlot caught in adultery waiting to be stoned, the thief waiting for them to cut off my hands, and worst of all I walked into a church as the new wife of a good, unsaved man and pretended - yes, PRETENDED to be good, too. The only problem with a past full of sin - there are skeletons from that dead life wondering around in your closet just DYING to get out. Better to get them out before God than in front of a congregation full of your "closest" friends. Get my meaning?

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"If we say we have no sin [refusing to admit that we are sinners], we delude and lead ourselves astray, and the Truth [which the Gospel presents] is not in us [does not dwell in our hearts]. 9 If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action]. 10 If we say (claim) we have not sinned, we contradict His Word and make Him out to be false and a liar, and His Word is not in us [the divine message of the Gospel is not in our hearts]. "

1 John 1:8-10 (AMP)

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As a growing Christian I had heard many leaders in the church say that their past was covered by the Blood and they did not have to deal with that past anymore because it was forgiven. I began to claim that for my past, too. Only problem: I had never surrendered my past to God allowing Him to cover it by His Blood. I convinced myself there was no need to confess those sins because I had already said, "God I'm sorry for everything I've ever done wrong. Thank you for forgiving me in Jesus Name, AMEN."

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But, was that enough?

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Not according to 1 John 1:9... Confession. Naming and agreeing with God what I had knowingly done against His will and His Word to put Christ upon that cross for my personal sins. That is confession. I had more than ten years of past that I had left unconfessed. Let me tell you something about the enemy of our soul... He is waiting for us to leave some stone unturned, some sin unconfessed and uncovered - He is just chomping at the bit to get to God's throne before we do and the words he speak resound in our ears -
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UNWORTHY, UNHOLY, SINNER, BAD, HARLOT, SHAMEFUL, UGLY, UNGRATEFUL, LOSER!
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"10 Then I heard a strong (loud) voice in heaven, saying, Now it has come—the salvation and the power and the kingdom (the dominion, the reign) of our God, and the power (the sovereignty, the authority) of His Christ (the Messiah); for the accuser of our brethren, he who keeps bringing before our God charges against them day and night, has been cast out! 11 And they have overcome (conquered) him by means of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony, for they did not love and cling to life even when faced with death [holding their lives cheap till they had to die for their witnessing]."

Revelation 12:10-11 (AMP)

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You name the insult and he is hurling it like a dart straight at your heart of hearts. He used all of those and more on me. I didn't want to confess my sins to God because it meant I would have to face the DEPRAVITY of MY OWN SOUL. I didn't believe I could handle facing what was hidden deep within my heart. It was not because God could not forgive it. He already had. It was because I didn't trust that promise. I believed that if confessed my sins would outweight His grace and I couldn't bear to face that possibility. .

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But God already knew that. In 2003, He arranged six weeks to uncover that sinful heart of mine and expose my sins so we could examine them and He could cleanse me of all that mucky, messy unrighteousness I had walked in as a young woman. He had been waiting for me to trust him with the most bruised and broken places of my life. To confess to Him the most shameful and defiled moments so that He could wash them clean. Heal them. And make me new.

One night, as I lay in bed sleeping a voice startled me awake.

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...GET UP AND WATCH THE VIDEO...

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Believing my dinner was talking and my dreams were a bit too vivid. I glanced at the clock. 3:00 AM. I lay back down and pulled the covers up snuggly around my neck. I sighed heavily before closing my weary eyes begging for a few more hours of sleep..

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...I said GET UP. Watch the Video...

God?

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Watch the video.

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I realized then I was not going to get any rest until I watched the second week's video from Beth Moore's study, "When Godly People Do Ungoldy Things." I kicked out of covers grumbling under my breath much the way a disgruntled child gets up to ready themselves for school. NOT A HAPPY CAMPER..

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I walked in the living room, fumbled in the dimly lit room for the videos and pulled out the DVD of choice. I hastily grabbed my book off the box and sat myself down with a HRUMMPHH! in the recliner. I didn't even bother to turn on the light. .

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Half way through my heart broke into a jillion pieces as every vile and heinous thing I had ever done began to run through my mind. My sin was overwhelming. The volumes of lies, vanity, profanity and shameless flaunting of God's standards ripped at my heart, my soul and my mind. I felt like a knife pierced my heart each time a new memory clouded my mind. One by one, I began to confess those horrific images out loud to God. I was on my knees, face to the ground weeping bitterly over my sin. I confessed my unworthiness and that it was my sin that had cost the Savior His life not just the curse of sin left to us by Adam and Eve in the garden. My choices had crucified Christ. I was broken apart, aching inside - not because of what it had cost me, but because of the precious price that had been paid in my place. I was weeping because of what my sin had cost God.
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That's when it happened. In the midst of an exhausting, full-on ugly cry I confessed the last of the memories that had surfaced in my heart. Then I lay there weeping, struggling to find clarity when I suddenly asked, "God? What do you want me to do now?".

...Go look in the mirror....

Look in the mirror? But God, I've been crying. There's....

... I said, Look in the mirror....

Okay..

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There in that mirror I saw the face of a broken woman. A woman who had finally come clean. A woman who had let go of everything that had been holding God at arm's length for so long and I saw the truth. .

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Look what a mess you made, out of the beauty I created..

Not a moment of that sentence was condemning or mean-spirited. He said, I AM the beauty He created. A few week's later I came face to face with the price that was paid for me. The cross of Christ and His crucifixion described in graphic detail on May 3, 2003. That month in the Spring semester of 2003 changed my life.

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Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation. 4 And in that day you will say, Give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name and by means of His name [in solemn entreaty]; declare and make known His deeds among the peoples of the earth, proclaim that His name is exalted!

Isaiah 12:3-4 (AMP)

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I ran to God with my confessions. .

If I found myself in the midst of a sin, conviction overtook my heart and I poured it to God right that moment. I still pray daily and tell on myself to Him. I tell Him everything I know I've done and I ask Him to make me aware of anything that I have left unconfessed. Oh and the beauty of it is that He does it so gently, so kindly - not accusing or angry. He just says, "See Here, Child. This is what I want to deal with." And it is done.

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The hardest part for me was receiving that grace. But just a few months ago I stood in my bathroom with a song in my heart I didn't understand. Whitney Houston's voice rang through my heart "The Greatest Love of all is happening to me... Learning to love yourself, it is the greates love of all."

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I turned my chin to the sky and cried out to GOD, "Why is that the song in my heart today?".

Then I saw my reflection in the mirror. His love washed over me anew. He was singing that song over me - the Greatest Love of all is God's love, and it has been happening to me over the last few years in a mighty way. He wants me to see myself through His eyes, live my life in His will and receive His forgiveness with a heart full of joy for the Salvation that I have been afforded..

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That day as Pastor Robert taught that message on mourning resulting is us being happy, he concluded the message with this Question: "What if we really mourned over our sin as if someone had died?".

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BECAUSE SOMEBODY DID..

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2 Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. .

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3 Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds. .

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4 You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood. .

5 And have you [completely] forgotten the divine word of appeal and encouragement in which you are reasoned with and addressed as sons? My son, do not think lightly or scorn to submit to the correction and discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage and give up and faint when you are reproved or corrected by Him; .

6 For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes. .

7 You must submit to and endure [correction] for discipline; God is dealing with you as with sons. For what son is there whom his father does not [thus] train and correct and discipline? .

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9 Moreover, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we yielded [to them] and respected [them for training us]. Shall we not much more cheerfully submit to the Father of spirits and so [truly] live? .

10 For [our earthly fathers] disciplined us for only a short period of time and chastised us as seemed proper and good to them; but He disciplines us for our certain good, that we may become sharers in His own holiness.

Hebrews 12:2-7, 9-10 (AMP)

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OH I DO LOVE HIM SO!

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If you would like to share your insights about today's quote, please link up to your own post here using Mr. Linky and then leave me a comment. Thank you so much for stopping by today! I'm so blessed to have been able to share this quote with you.

For more information about Tuesday's In Other Words, please visit Loni at Writing Canvas and check it out!

IOW: Favorite Quote... Favorite Post... Just Join In!

Hey there! If you have been reading IOW (Tuesday's In Other Words) which I semi-regularly participate in, then I invite you to join us for some insight, some fun and some sharing over the next couple of weeks. Loni is giving the Hostesses a break through the Christmas Holidays and we will resume regular posts again after the first of the year. So, in the absence she has invited us to join her in sharing favorite quotes, posts or even to write new posts for previously shared quotes. Whatever you fancy, join us at IOW and get in on the fun. After you post your own quotes, insights and favorites - visit Loni at Writing Canvas and link up for the fun!

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Please be in prayer for Loni and her daughter. They are at the hospital and her daughter is very ill. They need peace, provision, comfort, mercy, favor and much grace in the hours and days ahead. You are blessings to me and I love you more than I every express it.

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So... On with the post! My favorite quote was shared by Amy on October 14th. To see more on the post from this day visit my post and click the link for Amy's blog at the bottom. READ ON:

“A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself,

but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself.”

by A.W.Tozer

I am growing to LOVE A. W. Tozer and his concise, rich writings and teachings on the Christian journey. This reminds me of a song that Big Daddy Weave sings called Pharisee. I guess maybe this hit a cord in me because I am dealing with laying down judgmental attitudes that I developed over the years. Not judgments against others so much... God really has shown me that people in glass houses should NEVER. THROW. STONES. Because, of course, you never know when you might get it back.

I wrote a devotion for my curriculum about Embracing Grace that often times I will hear Christian leadership be critical of others and in so doing they are really sinning themselves by passing judgment on the circumstance of another. It doesn't prompt me to boycott their program, it prompts me to pray for their heart. To ask God why they are doing what they do, and how it is that people devoted to His Word could get so tied up in "doing" the law they miss the grace of God that is at its heart. The point I made in the devotion is that God set at work in the law His grace, not just by offering His Son in final atonement... But also in the fact that the observance of the law exemplified the grace of God at work in our own lives. Think of it - the first four commandments are the mark of devotion and love for God and the last six express His heart for mankind. Grace at work in the Law. We don't live under separate covenants - it is all one covenant with two parts. We don't live under grace and exclude the law anymore than we are to live under the law and exclude grace. They are not mutually exclusive, but were always purposed together to express the heart of God toward His people.

Now... I guess at this point I should say this - the reason for keeping the law is to keep ourselves lined up with God both in priniciple and deed.

Micah 6 tells us we are to "DO" justice and "LOVE" mercy. I think this pretty much sums it up for me. Doing justice means I do what is right, but loving mercy means that I extend grace to others.

Does this mean that I condone sin? NO! But, it doesn't mean I can willy nilly go around policing the lives of others based on my understanding of the Word of God. If someone has not given me permission to speak into their life, am I truly honoring God by beating them down with His Word?

Truth. I must carefully weigh the value. Case in point. My brothers and I were raised by honorable, Christian parents. I do not wish to dishonor them in any way. They were no more flawed or perfect than anyone else's parents both having backgrounds steeped in good moral values and skewed perceptions of the church and its role in the Christian walk. I spent much of my life passing judgment on their parenting by rebelling against it while my brother a year younger towed the line, did as much as he could to please them and seldom took up offenses on behalf of either of my parents.

After I began attending church in my late 20s I discovered that I had been pious, self-righteous and indignant toward my mother whom I blamed for nearly every trouble I had. I had to forgive her, accept her limitations and surrender her to God in prayer in order to find peace. Laying down any wound I felt was her responsibility and living with her in Paul's words, "As far as it depends on me, live at peace with all men."

Only more recently have I let go of the heavy wounds that I held against my father. Not because he was less deserving, but because those wounds did not add the strain to our relationship that the mother wounds had left in my relationship with my mom.

A few years back, my brother went through Christian counseling where he apparently was encouraged to confess any bitterness he harbored against others, especially in his family. He did so with my mother and me. It seemed that neither mother nor I anticipated, expected nor understood what he was trying to accomplish because the offenses he confessed did little more than insight hurt feelings and more offenses because we did not know what the point of the confession was. I totally missed he was asking for forgiveness and felt very judged and I am guessing my mother felt the same. Not... To dishonor my brother - he was only working through his own brand of misery and difficulties... It just turned into a big mess. One I would gather he did not intend to create.

The truth is, we all live in this human condition and have skewed motives and value systems based on a fallen existence. However, when rightly submitted to God - we have the power to forgive, to grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ and extend kindness and grace to others even when we ourselves feel they do nto deserve it. Why?

Because Jesus Himself did the very same thing on our behalf more than 2,000 years ago and to not do so would be denying His sacrifice, His love and His grace at work in our own lives.

Do Justice and Love Mercy... Perhaps I talked all around it this morning and missed the point of my own post. Or perhaps somewhere in this jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings is a message about God's heart that I have been learning and walking through the last 10 years. Either way I pray you are blessed and able to gleen from the mumblings of this humble servant. Be Blessed.

AMY at In Pursuit of Proverbs 31 is hosting this morning. Please stop on by and check out what others are saying "In OTHER Words." And, thanks Amy for a great quote!

Tuesday's In Other Words: Thanks Living for Thanksgiving

Deborah at Chocolate & Coffee is hosting today's "In Other Words" writing challenge. Stop by her place and check us out. For more information about IOW visit Loni at Writing Canvas.

Whatever happens, give thanks,

because it is God's will in Christ Jesus that you do this.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (God's Word)

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I have chosen to go back to the original passage that this Scripture is found in because I believe we find several keys to "thanks living." (NOTE: This is a long post, my speciality :o). Please hang on with me until the end.)

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Shall we take a look?

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KEYS TO THANKS LIVING:

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Key 1: Be Happy In Your Faith.

"Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always);" 1 Thessalonians 5:16 (AMP)

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In the Greek the word chairo is translated "rejoice" in verse 16. It is defined in Strong's Hebrew and Greek Dictionary as "a primary verb; to be “cheer”ful, i.e. calmly happy or well-off; impersonal especially as salutation (on meeting or parting), be well :- farewell, be glad, God speed, greeting, hail, joy (-fully), rejoice.—Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary"

Vine's demonstrates all the occasion for which one is commended to rejoice in it's definition:

"to rejoice," is most frequently so translated. As to this verb, the following are grounds and occasions for "rejoicing," on the part of believers:

1. in the Lord, (Phil. 3:1; Phil. 4:4)

2. His incarnation, (Luke 1:14)

3. His power, (Luke 13:17)

4. His presence with the Father, (John 14:28)

5. His presence with them, (John 16:22; John 20:20)

6. His ultimate triumph, (John 8:56)

7. hearing the gospel, (Acts 13:48)

8. their salvation, (Acts 8:39)

9. receiving the Lord, (Luke 19:6)

10. their enrollment in Heaven, (Luke 10:20)

11. their liberty in Christ, (Acts 15:31)

12. their hope, (Rom. 12:12) (cp. Rom. 5:2; Rev. 19:7)

13. their prospect of reward, (Matt. 5:12)

14. the obedience and godly conduct of fellow believers, (Rom. 16:19, RV, "I rejoice" (AV, "I am glad") 2 Cor. 7:7, 9; 2 Cor. 13:9; Col. 2:5; 1 Thess. 3:9; 2 John 1:4; 3 John 1:3)

15. the proclamation of Christ, (Phil. 1:18)

16. the gospel harvest, (John 4:36)

17. suffering with Christ, (Acts 5:41; 1 Pet. 4:13)

18. suffering in the cause of the gospel, 2 Cor. 13:9 (1st part); Phil. 2:17 (1st part); (Col. 1:24)

19. in persecutions, trials and afflictions, (Matt. 5:12; Luke 6:23; 2 Cor. 6:10)

20. the manifestation of grace, (Acts 11:23)

21. meeting with fellow believers, (1 Cor. 16:17, RV, "I rejoice;" Phil. 2:28)

22. receiving tokens of love and fellowship, (Phil. 4:10; the "rejoicing" of others, Rom. 12:15; 2 Cor. 7:13)

23. learning of the well-being of others, (2 Cor. 7:16.)

(Emphasis and enumeration added)

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So my question becomes: Do I live happy in my faith in every one of these circumstances. The Bible gives us twenty-three specific instances where we are to be happy in our faith, rejoicing and glad-hearted. I'm good with that list until I get to 17, 18 and 19. I can be thankful for those circumstances, but happy and glad-hearted about them. Not so much. And then the passage gives us the trump card: In the amplified the word is translated "continually" but in the Greek the literal translation is "every when." Which is translated in the KJV: "evermore." Are you Happy and Glad-hearted in your faith always, continually and evermore? As for me, I'm going to have to work on that. Our faith will sustain us - we must realize this to be Thanks Livers.

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Key 2: PRAY PERSEVERINGLY.

17 Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly];

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Persevering Prayer. Like the praise and prayer that went up when Paul and Silas were in the prison and the earth shook, the walls broke and the doors clanged open free. Like the prayer that Nehemiah prayed even as he spoke his heart before the king. HMMM!

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Persevering, prevailing, powerfully unceasing prayer. That is what I think of in this case. Our prayers will give us endurance when we believe by faith we have what we ask for. As I read this and consider how it applies to Thanks Living, I think of Justin's last year of life. I had prayed... prayed... and prayed... even asking God if I was praying for the wrong things. I was given Philippians 1:6 by a friend for Justin and instructed to pray that God would continue and complete the good work that He began in Justin at Salvation - so I did. Night and day, in tears and with the laying on of hands... If you can imagine a way to pray it I did. I prayed it in groups, wrote it into prayer requests, I prayed. But, when fall of 2004 gave way to winter and winter to spring, the roller coaster ride of emotional and behavioral highs and lows went into overdrive.

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The entire process of watching my oldest child self-destruct up close and personal was not only devestating, it was defeating. But I held on, I prayed harder - if that is possible. I went face down, on my knees and any which way that the Bible indicates to pray. For heaven's sake I would have prayed to the North, South, East and West if I thought it would help God hear my prayers. I was more than desperate - I needed a lifeline for me and my son.

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Beth Moore's "Living Beyond Yourself" was on my plate that spring as life spun continually out of control. I was hanging on by a thread. In the lesson one night was a representational response to prayer: the instruction was to write our most ardent prayer request, the one we take continually before the Lord, on an index card. I didn't even have to think: "JUSTIN." That was all I wrote.

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The next part, thank Him for the answer by faith in advance. ... O...kay. I lifted my index card to heaven and thanked God for hearing those prayers I had offered for my son, and acting on them providing the answers in His perfect time. The conclusion: Each time I felt the burden to pray for that request, thank God for the coming answer instead. And I did...

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After we had him arrested, I thanked God all the more.

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When he ran away, I thanked God all the more.

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When the police were at our house, I thanked God all the more.

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Sitting outside the justice's chamber while my son sat a bench away in handcuffs I thanked God all the more.

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I thanked God and thanked God and thanked Him for my son, his life, the future He promised Justin.

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I thanked Him for the answer and believed by faith I had what I asked for - and then the accident happened.

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And in the midst of the almost hour long drive to the hospital not knowing how my son was doing, whether or not he would live or die... I began to pray and praise God all at the same time. I thanked Him my son was still alive and asked only that he remain alive until I get to the hospital. I thanked God for successful surgery, and for the surgeons who operated on him that first night. I thanked Him for getting my son on the helicopter and taking him to the #2 trauma center in North Texas. I thanked Him.

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On the day my son died I thanked God for having mercy and making it sure. I thanked God for the life of my son and the 17 precious years I had with him. I thanked God. And, somehow on that day when I could not thank God for the financial blessing of an insurance check - I asked, "How is Justin dying a part of you blessing us? God, I don't understand." Philippians 1:6 began to roll around in my head, dusting off the corners of my memory and resurrecting that faith that prayed it all those months before. I heard in my spirit that day, "It is not the money, but that Justin is now Complete. He was made perfect the day he came home to heaven." And I praised Him through tears and through anguish I praised Him for every detail of my grief until today I can count myself blessed for the privilege of suffering in this way, for knowing the heart of God through agony and for seeing His hand in spite of the pain. Thanks living...

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Key 3: Thank God In EVERYTHING No Matter What The Circumstances May Be.

18 Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

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Before my son's last few years of life, before that deep relationship with God was built... I don't think I knew what it meant to be thankful. I was grateful for things that benefited me and despised experiences that did not.

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When Justin's life went beyond my ability to control, manage and define it... I had to depend utterly and solely on God for the well-being of my child. Then I became grateful for the smallest victories and even for the lessons learned in the most agonizing defeats. The war was fought long and hard and in unconventional ways. It hurt, spiritually I felt like our entire family must have bled out (spiritually) a few times, but somehow God sustained us and even now the good outweighs the bad in those volatile and turbulent years.

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Cultivating Gratitude in the smaller battle made my heart able to rejoice, to be not just grateful but truly THANKFUL (not just going through the motions of thanksgiving but really meaning it from your heart in any and every circumstance), even in spite of the circumstance, and being gracious even as I walked out the death of my child - my worst confessed fear.

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Key 4: Walk In The Spirit Every Day.

19 Do not quench (suppress or subdue) the [Holy] Spirit;

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Galatians 5 strikes me always as the Holy Spirit chapter and towards the end of that book you read about life in the flesh versus life in the Spirit. Quenching the Spirit involves any one or all the matters our flesh, (really our soulish behavior demonstrates). This is behavior driven by our pre-salvation will and desires, our unchecked emotions and our intellectual minds.

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Living by the Spirit is a conscious choice to stay vitally connected to the Lord at all times. It means not letting sin go unchecked, but being intentional in confession. Naming sins rather than blanket confessing them, and then appropriating the forgiveness God has already settled our accounts with. Confession is one of the most freeing things in our Christian walk, because it reopens the door between us and God and allows the Spirit to flow unhindered into our hearts, our souls and our minds. The Spirit of God is the only way God administeres the Freedom that Christ came to deliver to us as His children. We must seek to walk in the Spirit everyday.

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Key 5: It Doesn't Depend On Me.

20 Do not spurn the gifts and utterances of the prophets [do not depreciate prophetic revelations nor despise inspired instruction or exhortation or warning].

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Despising things we don't understand is a huge way to quench the Spirit. Knowing that the gifts and call of the Lord do not rest upon my understanding of them frees me from judgments and calloused behavior toward Christians of different denominations. It also gives me understanding of limitations and the guiding of the Holy Spirit and the call of God. I am not advocating here the gifts of prophecy and "utterances" (speaking gifts) - I recognize that we each must come to our own understanding of the administration of the giftings in the New Testament and the call of God upon our individual lives.

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My personal preferences and opinions matter little when weighed against the infallibility of God's Word. Even if I do not cognitively agree with or prefer the teacher who is speaking on a matter of Scripture, I can be like the Bereans and examine everything against what I know to be true, God's Written Word - the Holy Bible - and ask the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom in discerning whether what I am engaging is of Him or of something else.

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It is our responsibility not to base our assessment of God's calling, giftings and Scripture circumspectly on the teachings of other men, no matter how credentialled or scholarly - we must test it all which brings me to Key 6.

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Key 6: We Must Prove ALL Things Against God's Standard - His Word. Holding Fast only to what His Standard says is GOOD.

21 But test and prove all things [until you can recognize] what is good; [to that] hold fast.

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All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. ~ 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)

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Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. ~ 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)

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And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. ~ Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

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These three Scriptures indicate a personal relationship that involves more than submitting yourself to the teachers of the Word you subscribe to. It indicates a personal relationship born of meting out the Word of God for yourself. Comparing what you are taught with what is true and discarding anything that does not resonate with the Word of God itself, regardless of whether the one teaching has authority and credentials. It doesn't mean tearing down another's ministry, but it does mean not staking your sole response to God and His Word on the teaching and reliability of human interpretation. We must be groomed for godliness and that comes from God's Word, taught, caught and applied.

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Key 7: Avoid Willful Sin And Flee Temptation.

22 Abstain from evil [shrink from it and keep aloof from it] in whatever form or whatever kind it may be.

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We are to be innocent of evil and experts in what is good. How can we know that ourselves if we never ever open God's Word and discern from it what His Will is? There are more than ten standards of "Hebrew Law." All of Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy overview and outline the extent and the consequence of God's Law. But, what of the Law of Grace, and atonement. How do we avoid the sin of pride and piety that so plagued the Pharisees in Jesus' day. By exercising mercy toward others who are caught in sin - love the sinner, hate the sin and applying any judgment or measure of justice we deem necessary to absolve sin toward ourselves... then CONFESS IT to God in humility and ask Him to make you contrite and repentent over your sin.

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""Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." ~ Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV)

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Galatians 6:1 says it this way: "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. 5 For each one shall bear his own load. " ~ Galatians 6:1-5 (NKJV)

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And for good measure, here is the word I love: "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God?" ~ Micah 6:8 (AMP)

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Key 8: Be Set Apart, Sanctified by God Himself.

23 And may the God of peace Himself sanctify you through and through [separate you from profane things, make you pure and wholly consecrated to God]; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved sound and complete [and found] blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah).

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Santification has its work in setting us apart when we submit ourselves fully to God through Salvation, Confession, Repentence, Discipleship or Instruction, Ministry and Relationship or Fellowship with both God and His People. He finds us blameless when we surrender ourselves and allow ourselves to be cloaked in the righteousness of Christ for in and of ourselves there is none righteous, no not one. Only Christ who gave Himself to be righteousness for us and in turn made us His righteousness before God. His righteousness preserves us blameless before the Lord. Be sanctified, set apart for the purposes of God through and through.

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Key 9: Trust God To Finish The Work In You. (See Also Philippians 1:6)

24 Faithful is He Who is calling you [to Himself] and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it [fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you].
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He alone is faithful and trustworthy to finish all that He has called us to, all He has gifted us for and anything and everything in between. It doesn't depend on you - It all depends on Him.

In conclusion I would like to reaffirm Romans 12:1-3:

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Brothers and sisters, in view of all we have just shared about God's compassion, I encourage you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, dedicated to God and pleasing to him. This kind of worship is appropriate for you. 2 Don't become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants—what is good, pleasing, and perfect. 3 Because of the kindness that God has shown me, I ask you not to think of yourselves more highly than you should. Instead, your thoughts should lead you to use good judgment based on what God has given each of you as believers. (God's Word)