Milestones and Holidays

A few helpful tips for negotiating the holidays. At the WARM place and even at HOPE (the two support groups I attended with my children in the early days of our grief) we heard and were taught a lot about holiday plans and grief.

In short, they said to make a plan and even if you did not stick to it to write it down. Some even planned to do nothing, so "NOTHING" was written across their Holiday plan in bright bold letters. I prepared a lesson for my "Heart to Heart" girls at church this fall and thought sharing the points might help you a out a bit as you begin navigating the Holidays this week. If you would like for me to email you a PDF of the Holiday planning sheet that I included with this lesson you can email me HERE.

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"Family traditions and rituals observed around milestones and holidays represent an express of the values and relationships that we hold most precious."

~ Adapted from Article: "It Won't Be The Same This Year" by Dr. Linda E. Jordan~

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For the bereaved parent any holiday or milestone can be both traumatic and emotional as the family tries to find their bearings after the death of a child. First holidays are typically the most difficult, though in some cases reports of the second year's experiences being more intense have occurred. As we grieve, it is important to acknowledge before we are in the midst of the holidays that nothing will be the same this year. Things simply are not the same, our child is not here with us and we are not the same person we were before the loss.

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There are ways to not only survive, but also still observe meaningful and special times with your family even in a state of grief. Some will be comforted by keeping the traditions the same while others will want to change everything about the special event or do absolutely nothing at all.

Before we get to the list, I want to ask you to journal through the following questions:

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What concerns do you have about the upcoming holiday season?

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How are you feeling about observing the holidays?

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Do you have any other special days or milestones that are approaching which give you concern?

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What are they and when will they occur?

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Do you have a plan for the holidays?

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To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV)

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When negotiating the holidays there are several key things we can do to help us get through these milestone and tradition related events.
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"Intentionally choosing what is meaningful and eliminating what is stressful will go a long way in making the holidays and other special days more bearable."

~ From the article "It Won't Be The Same This Year" by Dr. Linda E. Jordan~

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1. Do your best to maintain a QUIET TIME.

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This may be the most vital part of your holiday plan. Staying connected to the Lord through His Word and prayer is a powerful tool in negotiating difficult seasons of our life. My pastor, Robert Morris, has taught a series called Elevate that is available through James and Betty Robinson's television program (http://www.lifetoday.org/). In that series he gave four basic steps for maintaining a 15 minute quiet time each day.

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   Quiet Your Mind. (Psalm 131:2, Psalm 46) Be still and know that He is God. Put your "to do" list away and slow down. Sit quietly and let the busyness of your day fall away.
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   Focus Your Mind. (Psalm 100:2,4) Worship is a great way to focus. Put on some praise music and worship, or - as Pastor Robert said, "Sing the song to him that is in your heart." A few weeks back, I woke up every day with the song, "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston "playing like an 8-track" on repeat in my head. I kept repeating the words as I did the dishes or put on my make-up until finally after 14 days I cried out to God, "Why is that the song in my heart today?" No sooner had the words come out of my mouth than I looked back in the mirror and for the first time in my life saw myself through the Lord's eyes. Not the broken down, overweight woman who had lived hard and loved hard all her life. But, instead a captivating heart with a soul and mind to match as the Spirit seemed to shine right through me. He wanted me to know that He is the Greatest Love of All and that He is happening to me... all the time. SING THE SONG YOU WAKE UP WITH IN YOUR HEART TO GOD. If your voice doesn't sound great, sing it in your head or go in your closet so as not to upset the family... but sing with the sincerity of your heart in worship to God and recenter your mind on his goodness and his greatness in your life.
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   Pray Your Mind. Allow yourself to enter into His presence and talk with Him about what is on your heart and your mind. Your quiet time with God should be a time when you pray until the burden shifts. Praying is truly about releasing the burden from our shoulders to God's (Matthew 11:28-30). Part of being a good steward is praying over everything God has given you. Have a conversation with God. Conversations involve two things: Speaking and Listening. This is not the time to pray your lists or fill out forms trying to complete successful "quiet time" formulas. This should be a time when your entire being becomes centered and focused on who God is and what He is doing in your life... and How He wants you to respond. Your quiet time should never add more stress to your life. If you are still burdened after you pray... You haven't done it right. Pray until the burden shifts.
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   Renew Your Mind. (Romans 12:1-2) The Bible is the key to renewing your mind. Read His Word and journal through it. All you need is a blank page, a pen and a passage of Scripture. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see and ears to hear what God wants to reveal to you that day. You will find Him when you seek Him with all of your heart (Jeremiah 29:13). Allow Him to reveal Himself to you in revelation and quiet love. If all you can handle is one verse of Scripture hang onto it and allow God to minister it to the deepest places in your heart and soul. His Word is a healing balm that brings restoration (Psalm 119, Psalm 107:10).

2. Make a WRITTEN plan.

Writing down our intentions is one of the best ways to be intentional about our time. God's Word says that He has a plan for each and every one of us. (Jeremiah 29:11) When we don't know what to do we can always trust His heart. When in doubt, pray it out. And make the written plan based on what the Lord is telling you to do. (For a copy of the written plan form that goes with this lesson, email me.)

3. Give yourself permission to do NOTHING this one time.

4. Allow your FAMILY to help you plan.

Including other members of your family in the Holiday planning and assigning responsibility will help to take all the pressure off of you to determine what to do or not to do, what traditions to maintain and which ones to do away with... "Test everything, hold on to the good." 1 Thessalonians 5:21 (NIV).

5. Expect MIXED EMOTIONS about the holidays.

6. Give yourself permission to CRY.

Crying helps us to process our loss. It is an expression of our sadness and when we cry tears of sadness and grief it causes our body to release the stress that is related to that sadness. The Grief Recovery Institute did studies related to crying and grief and found that those who simply cry do not heal as fast as those who cry and talk through their feelings as they cry - find a place to let it out whether it is a good friend who offers their shoulder or a support environment with a counselor or others who are grieving as you are. Allowing yourself to cry is healthy and it is not a symbol of weakness to express your God-given emotions about your loss.

7. It's okay to KEEP everything or to keep NOTHING the same.

8. If there are small children in the home, try to keep the holiday or milestone as NORMAL as possible. They need a SENSE that some things in their life are the SAME.

9. Keep it SIMPLE. Don't try to do too MUCH.

Simplifying your life and your schedule will do much to alleviate stress in your life. Do what is meaningful to you and your family and discard traditions that hold less value. I used to send out an extensive Christmas card list. The first year after Justin died, I signed every card with the SEVEN names of our family, Justin inlcuded. It was too painful and difficult for me to process so I just did not send those cards out. I have not reinstituted the Christmas card tradition, though I try. I sent out Christmas letters the year after Justin died, which seemed to help more.

10. Take CARE of yourself.

Make regular hair appointments, get a massage or go to the nail salon for the afternoon. Be sure to go to the doctor and get a check-up as you grieve. Grief takes a toll on our physical body and you may need the attention of a physician to fully recover. Make time to do things to take care of yourself. It is quite all right to take time out of your schedule to relax in a hot tub, sip a comforting beverage and read a good book or light a relaxing, fragrant candle. Make time in your plan for you.

11. Help OTHERS during the holidays.

We usually select a male child from our church's Christmas charity program and spend the same amount on that child we would spend on Justin. Because our new church has a spending limit assigned to each child, we usually pick two and so we bless others in honor of our son. It is just one of the ways we can give back from the blessings we've been given. And, it helps to have somewhere to focus the time and energy I would spend missing buying him gifts on others. If buying gifts isn't possible, sign up to distribute them or to serve meals on Thanksgiving and Christmas days. It will help you to pass the otherwise difficult hours of the day by focusing on others needs rather than your own.

12. Allow yourself to experience the ANTICIPATION EMOTIONS.

In my own grief, I've found the build up to holiday and milestone events is more emotional than the actual days. So by allowing myself to process those emotions as they come, I am better prepared to move into those difficult seasons and days with less stress and fear of how I will respond. Plus, by processing my anticipation emotions with God, I get his perspective in many ways that help me to make decisions and overcome any negative feelings I may be having. Dr. Caroline Leaf's book, "Who Switched Off My Brain?" is a great read on the subject of why we need to process and release toxic emotions in our lives.

13. Don't AVOID the lead-in to holidays, anniversaries and birthdays.

Stuffing is never healthy. Again, Read the comments for point 12 - and allow yourself to anticipate upcoming difficult days so that God's mercy and comfort can guide the way.

14. PRAY.

Allow God to deal with how you feel, what you are going through and allow Him to fill the empty places inside of you with His Spirit and His love. He will see you through.

Remember, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other milestone events are days the Lord has made and designed for celebrating....

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 (NIV)

He wants us to trust Him when it hurts the most.

Negotiating Firsts - A Message About Holidays

He has made everything beautiful in it’s time….
Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NKJV)

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Negotiating first holidays, anniversaries and birthdays as well as other milestone events can be one of the most difficult aspects of your grief season. It is probably because the more of these special family times that pass, the more real your loss becomes.

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My son left a muddy pair of tennis shoes sitting right outside the front door on the porch the day before his accident. Those shoes remained on the porch until we moved the next summer. They were then relocated – in their muddy glory to the back porch of our new home. Those shoes became important and if the suggestion was made that we should remove them or get rid of them I would – yes, FLIP OUT!

About a year after his death, those shoes were cleaned up and deposited in our garage. They still have a home in the garage. I see them each time the garage door is raised. I cannot bear to part with those shoes. Maybe someday I will, but not today.

This is not the only traumatic issue we have had. The first Christmas we had after Justin’s death was very, very traumatic for our entire family. You see – Justin was the one who would grumble and complain all day as he watched me lug the huge box containing our enormous Christmas tree out of the closet. He would mill around while I carefully and painstakingly assembled each branch and unfurled it so it appeared to be a “believable” fake tree for the holiday season. He would wait and watch all day while I went through this awful tradition – torturing myself and killing my back to make the house a beautiful holiday creation!

About bedtime, I would be tired, cranky and quite frankly a little smelly. He would come to my rescue – “Sit down, Mom. I’ll do the rest.” And so began our annual holiday tradition.

When the holidays began to approach after his death my husband seemed very indifferent while both my girls had very distinct and opposite opinions about how the decorations should be handled. The eldest wanted the Christmas tree but refused to help put it up. The younger wanted no decorations at all declaring the entire ordeal to be too painful even to think about.

I wanted a Christmas tree. It is my favorite time of year and my heart’s desire was to do something special but not particularly taxing for my family at Christmas. My solution? Purchase a new, improved – and much skinnier and shorter – pre-lit tree on sale at Garden Ridge. I saw the ad on television, I checked the bank balance and set out one cool December night while my family was at church to buy and decorate the most beautiful Christmas tree we would ever see.

Yeah right! While at Garden Ridge I found several ornaments that I could incorporate and of course there was the new angel for the top – since the old one simply would not do. The show – stopper in my mind, was the new, fancy Christmas stockings that I purchased special for this “new beginning” we were about to have. I went home unloaded the goods and set about decorating our house. By the time my family arrived back home I was done… I was sitting in a recliner amid a room full of emptied boxes and bags looking with great pride at my holiday creation. If I could have patted myself on the back I would have.

The girls came in took one look at the tree and stockings and lost their minds… I mean seriously. The eldest burst into tears and muttered in dismay, “Where are our stockings?”

The younger who had not wanted any tree at all, took one look at the new tree and said, “I HATE IT! You’ve changed everything.” She then ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.

I stood up to defend myself and sat back down dumbfounded by their response. I looked at the tree, my weeping child and my confused husband. I declared, matter-of-factly, “Well, I like it and it’s staying. And that’s all I care about right now.”

The entire holiday was a bust. I traumatized my entire family and we were all a mess. We were supposed to be. Firsts are hard, they take a lot out of you and they are not very rewarding, but they pave the way for better days so just hang in there and hang onto God – He has a plan even when we don’t.

“I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Love, God.

(Jeremiah 29:11 MSG – emphasis mine)

This is my family...

I did that post with all my pictures from the last four years... But, at Thanksgiving I was with those who I am most thankful for in all the world, my family. So here are some shots of those wonderful folks who have been with me on this journey, prayed me through, loved me long and put up with me much:

A Family Holiday, Lots of Words and Pictures

It is not unusual for our holidays and special occasions to be marred with some sort of tragedy. Justin's death happened the day after our 7th wedding anniversary, my uncle passed away last year on Taylor's Birthday and this year, Travis and Megan lost their maternal grandfather on Travis' birthday, December 23rd. We spent a couple of hours with them at the hospital that day and we hurt for them because this was such a difficult goodbye.

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At the hospital that afternoon before her grandfather died, Megan walked out of the room in tears and fell into her father's arms and just held onto him weeping. It was the most precious moment I have experienced with Scott and his kids. Scott was so worried about how she was doing... His baby needed him and he needed to be there for her. It was indeed precious. I hurt so deeply for those kids in that loss, I wept tears.

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We spent Christmas Eve with all our kids and his family at his parent's home. Mother-in-love made hubby's absolute favorite dish... STUFFED SHELLS. (I just called and got the recipe! ;o) She is a second generation Italian from upstate New York and my hubs loves her Italian cooking. He has fond memories of family dinners with his mother's family when they lived up north. His grandmother spoke English, but was full Italian when she was upset. He laughs when he says you knew when Grandma was not happy. It is always good eats at Granny's house. We opened our Christmas gifts and visited for a couple of hours before returning home with Scott's children to observe our family communion, take family photographs and open a few family gifts. Meg and Travis received their main gift from us on Tuesday at the hospital. We had gotten them cell phones and wanted them to have them while they were at the hospital. Scott read the Christmas Story from Luke 2 and I administered the elements. It was the perfect end to a wonderful evening.

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We had a terrific time really. I've included the family photos at the end of this post. His kids are beautiful, terrific kids. We attended the visitation for their grandfather on the Friday after Christmas at the funeral home and an older member of the family pulled Scott aside and told him how impressed and how well he thought of Scott's children. Travis called a few nights ago to say he had applied to go to aeronautics school in Oklahoma. He dreams of being an aircraft mechanic like his uncle and his grandfather on his mother's side of the family. Megan is just a half a year or so from being Sweet Sixteen. She is a beautiful young lady and she loves her family much. She simply dotes on her little sister, Chelsea (from her mom's second marriage). Chelsea is about 18 months old and just all adventure.

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My girls have absolutely nixed the idea of marriage and grandchildren for the time being so one night while Scott and I babysat, Megan and Travis came for a visit. I asked Megan, "Do you think... like maybe in 20 years of so... not anytime soon, but I mean, well - Do you think you might have kids someday?" She giggled and said, "Well yeah, just not soon."

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I clapped my hands and said, "Oh Boy, I'm going to have grandbabies." Someday.

Anyway... that is a silly tale.

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At the funeral home Megan and I sat with her cousin, Dylan (he is her step-father's nephew). He had a Highlights workbook and was busy doing all the Search and Finds he could do. So we helped. He is so cute at age 5 years old. He went in with his parents to the visitation room and came out downcast and teary-eyed. He said, "Mom's going to cry. She always cries at these."

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But, quickly his mind came back to the task at hand and we busily found all his objects of interest on the pages of his book. We even did some spelling together. It was quite delightful. He told me he got a Wii for Christmas and I asked if I could come and play at his house, he said YES! All Right! Work out here I come.

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My nephew and niece also got a Wii for Christmas. When I asked William if he would let me come work out at his house he said, "No, we don't have a Wii Fit."

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I laughed. I said, "Any Wii would be a workout for me."

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When the kids finally left on Christmas Eve, I set about printing out the pictures to give away on Christmas day at my family's gathering. I think I finally crawled into bed around midnight or one o'clock. The next morning we milled around and I cooked the Sopapilla Cheesecake that Amanda shared with us over at the LPM blog months back. YUMMY!

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Hubs requested this specific dessert as we were having a Feliz Navidad kind of Christmas at Mom's house. Mexican food was the delight of the day. Mom made her delicious Chicken Enchiladas... I think there may be a recipe on this blog for that somewhere. No time to type it out today. I made the cheesecake and Chicken Tortilla Soup. My Sister-in-love brought her whole clan and they had corn salsa... I heard it was good but never ate a bite. I fed the baby the beans from it though. Baby Wyatt is a living doll. I got great video of him playing in a box and climbing the stares at my parent's house. Of course, that video would be on Grandma's camera... so alas, I have nothing here to share.

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So the run down of all the holiday goods:

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Scott and I both generally receive money from both our parents, this year all our kids did, too. My Dad wrote a humorous note about how he could have given me a diamond or furs but he decided not to let me miss all the after-Christmas shopping sales. HA!

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I received a digital photo frame from my Sister-in-love. Hubs and an Enviro Scapes fountain from Sister-in-love's generous sister, Jessie. The girls got all sorts of bath stuff and home-knit toboggan and scarf sets. Hubs got a very nice dresser caddy for his what-nots and such. I loved putting that little thing in place and loading all his various items in it. The best gift, hands down... Was the little Ride me/Walk behind Lion that my parents got Wyatt. He was toddling around in no time flat with a big, sweet smile on his face. PRECIOUS.

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Mom got a special cookbook that included many of Scott and Steph's favorite Recipes (that's my brother and his wife.) They put our mom's favorites in along with Steph's family favorites and came up with a great family keepsake.

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My favorite gifts were from my hubs and the girls. Taylor got me a precious Sterling Silver necklace with little diamond accents in the shape of a heart with a butterfly on it. Cut into the sides of the heart is the word love. Beautiful. Brittany got me a sweet little Jewelry box that has a picture frame top with a matte that spells out the word HOPE and I can insert my own photos into the back. I loved it. Hubs got me a new MP3 player - it has 4GB of memory and I found an I-Home for it at Marshalls that works great and is quite portable and affordable. I loved it. He took me looking and we settled on a couple of different ones - then he bought me the one he wanted me to have. I'm very pleased and grateful he chose this one. Apparently all the way to my parent's house on Christmas day I was praising and worshipping the Lord to my new MP3 player and none to quietly. No one had the heart to tell me I was singing loud and the girls sat in the backseat giggling the whole hour-long trip. [CHAGRIN!]

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In the car as we started back hubs patted my leg and said, "Maybe this time you could... Uh... Sing a little quieter. I didn't want to interrupt you and I thought you'd get mad if I turned up the radio." OOPS! :o)

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What joy we had at Christmas in spite of the loss. We spoke to my middle brother by phone that evening and stayed the night playing Rummy 5000 with my parents... No bragging here, but I snookered 'em! I Won! Oh Yes, I did.

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I had given hubs his gift the night before. He and the girls had gotten new cell phones earlier in the month and I got him several new nice dress shirts to wear. After Christmas I spent half my Christmas cash on a new "dressy" windbreaker and shirts as well as a few things for me like an IRON. Okay... enough about the iron. I had such a good time shopping.

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Speaking of shopping... The day after Christmas the girls and I were off to the mall. BIG - Big Mistake... HUGE! To quote Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman. That was a nightmare and a headache all at the same time. I did get some great stuff, but WHEW! I could barely stand the two hours I gave the girls to shop before rushing home.

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This week has been both a good and a tough week. I will just say it has come to light that hubs and I need to work on our marriage and dealing with that sort of stuff is often messy, mostly an opportunity to receive a blessing and almost always HARD. God is so faithful and He is seeing us through. Which to my delight is just where I want to be. As Beth Moore says, "I want me a JESUS Year." But not just for me, for my whole family. [Insert Shameless request for Endless Prayer for my husband and I... THANK YOU!]

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We spent New Year's Eve day sorting through our marital junk and ended it by going to the annual NYE Prayer Service at the church. Afterwards we went to see the movie "Bedtime Stories" with Adam Sandler which I was surprised to find was a delightful children's movie about goals, dreams and family. No really inappropriate humor - Delightful.

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Yesterday I finished getting things in order around our house. We took down the tree and put up the two new bookshelves Scott got me last weekend. I also got a new iron, but I may write a whole new post for the iron - I am so excited about my iron and that's almost silly.

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So... today Hubs went back to work after a two weeks of Vacation. I miss him already. He is the most loving and generous man I've ever known - and if we are confessing in the James sort of fashion... I've not always appreciated him as I should. New Year's bring new beginnings and I am seeing My Man with new eyes this year. Serving him with a heart full of love and redeeming a covenant that could have been lost had we let it go. But, today we stand and we stand firm on the promises of God. He will not leave us or forsake us. Discretion says I should not go on with this train of thought. I just want you all to know I have the best husband in the whole entire world and I love him with a heart full of gratitude for all he has brought to my life. They don't come any better than him - I love him.

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So... as they say on the big stage - "On With the (Picture) Show"

This is our family: That's me and Scott (aka hubs, My Man) down front. The middle row are Scott's children Travis on the left and Megan on the right. Brittany and Taylor are bringing up the rear and they are all absolutely beautiful to me. My family truly is my heart. I love them so.

Our kiddoes

Top row are the two oldest - Brittany, 19 and Travis 18

Second Row are the two youngest - Megan, 15 and Taylor 17

Where does the time go? Brittany starts college in a few weeks and Travis will graduate the end of this year. Taylor will be a Senior Next Year and Megan the following year. Oh MY! At least we don't quite have an empty nest yet! Momma is having some Pre-Empty Nest Jitters. Though, my girls live with us and Scott's with their mother... Still it always seems too soon.

My Beautiful Babies. Brittany and Taylor. Tall, Beautiful and Confident....

But more than that - they are godly. They know the Lord and they love Him.

Taylor (right) absolutely amazes me... She has such a heart to pray and minister to others. She often spends all her "gift" money buying other people presents, she prays for others, looks up Scripture and has frequent Bible Study by text message. She witnesses by reading her Bible at school and striking up conversations that engage the spiritual with her teachers. She has even given out our pastor's book to one of her teachers. She is a dream to me... So spirited, passionate and full of heart.

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Last night I was in the middle of a holy fit in the laundry room really feeling quite sorry for my self and throwing wet clothes back and forth between the washer and dryer and then hitting and kicking the poor machine a few times for good measure. That's when I felt two hands on each of my shoulders. I didn't know my girls were home.

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Brittany walked in and just held onto me. Then she hugged me very tightly and tried to give me an excuse to continue to act like a child. Though Scott and I have done most of our discussing of personal issues behind closed doors - she guessed the problem. And she made it very clear - she is on my side and mad at him. So sweet, but it came with an exhortation from her momma. "You have to show Scott respect and love him because in spite of anything you may have figured out he has done... I am equally responsible for I have neglected my husband." She protested and said that I had much right to scream and cuss and cry if I wanted to... But I could not agree, "I must be gracious with my husband and serve him as my Lord has been gracious and cared for me."

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That is when Brittany accidentally brought much needed comic relief to the very intense moment. She said, "I am on Team Momma." I heard... "I am a Teen Momma." I thought - Oh Great, with everything else going on now my unwed daughter is pregnant. The look on my face must have been worth about well... let's just say shock and disbelief are not strong enough for what I was thinking. So I asked:

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"Are you preg-nant?"

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And it is about this time I learn my other daughter is also at home... (They were supposed to be out with friends.) She walks by and without a flinch or a waver of emotion she says, "If she was pregnant I would probably beat the crap out of that guy."

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Okay... so Brittany is sitting in the floor in a pile of unwashed laundry nearly crying she is laughing so hard. I am doubled over the dryer raucously heaving and hi-cupping. I nearly coughed up a lung I laughed so hard. I have heard about the gift of laughter when the Spirit brings a fit of releasing laughter to you in intense moments. Because, while this was funny... I was not in a laughing mood.

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I could not stop laughing ya'll.

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All the pent up ugly I had carried into the laundry room was released with a fit of very appropriate laughter. She did the instant replay after the fits of hilarity died down and we started again. It made me feel so good. My youngest knew I had been discouraged lately and came home last night with a six pack of old-style bottle Coca-Cola, a large box of Crunch-N-Munch and a movie size box of Sweet Tarts. She said, "We're going to watch a movie." I was much too tired last night - but we have a date for tonight when we get home from dinner. I love it. She doesn't know that the real gift is Quality Time!

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Yes, Yes... These are indeed my girls.

We do not see Megan and Travis as often as we'd like...

But, we have been seeing them more and now I have these terrific pictures to share!

These pictures were a really awesome gift for me.

My Brittany used her camera to snap the shots either with a timer or behind the thing.

She said that I must give her credit.

I took the photos of my girls and the four kids. She took the rest.

Above is a great shot of Scott with his children.

Below is one of my very favorite pictures of all time...

Me and my girls.

And this, is my beloved and me.

(He still makes me swoon... Seriously when he is in his boots and jeans I just feel all weak in my knees... !)

Second only to the Savior and Lord, Scott is very much my other half.

I don't want to be right, I want to be right with my man and my Lord.

Okay... the last shot.

I love this picture. At our wedding we were both so nervous that my cousin said, "At least look like you like each other." I don't remember how we got into this pose, but I remember looking at Scott and saying something to the effect that I wanted him to get close to me so we looked like we liked each other... He smiled big and I was looking into those smoky hazel... sometimes cool green eyes of his (He has Mood Eyes ya'll)... And Big Girl snapped the picture. It is such a fun, free and beautiful shot. I framed it and put it on the end table where he sits to watch television. A prophetic vision for now and always... Us Happy Together.

HAPPY NEW YEAR SWEET BLOGGY FRIENDS... I count myself so blessed!