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“And I don’t regret the rain,
And the nights I felt the pain,
And the tears I had to cry some
of those times along the way.
Every road I had to take,
Every time my heart would break -
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you…”
And the nights I felt the pain,
And the tears I had to cry some
of those times along the way.
Every road I had to take,
Every time my heart would break -
It was just something that I had to get through
To get me to you…”
As sung by Lila McCann,
“To Get Me To You” [Hope Floats Soundtrack]
“To Get Me To You” [Hope Floats Soundtrack]
As Thanksgiving approaches this year, the words to this song resound in my head in so many ways. I had this song played at our wedding ten years ago because I had lived such a rough existence prior to meeting the "love of my life," Scott. He swept in like a knight on a white horse and brought such good things to my life and the lives of my children. But, most of all, he stood by me through thick and thin, loved me unconditionally and overlooked a sordid and ugly past in favor of a future with me. He has willingly taken on the responsibility of my three children and brought to my life the beauty of his own. I was so thankful to be marrying a man like him, and I knew God had brought us together for a reason. I thank God for him everyday.
.
Scott's love made my past worth the journey.
.
WHY?
.
Because I valued it more, and I appreciate him more. He made me want to be a better person and our marriage and his lack of faith drove this family straight into the arms of God. So, I don't regret the rain or the pain or the tears or any of the umpteen million things that happened that made me feel I was "a used up woman with three kids." A broken down mess, damaged goods. Because my story mirrors the redemption of Christ and the adulterous woman. I can love much, because the love I have received has forgiven much and I can tell people who are living where I had lived that there is hope, and future and promise in God's plan for them --- I am living proof.
.
Would I do it differently - maybe, maybe not. I would have done what I knew to do at the time. Now that I know better I can walk forward and leave the past where it belongs, under the blood of Christ, forgiven on the cross where I have confessed my sins to Him, and as far as the east is from the west - remembered no more.
.
Since Justin's death I have learned a new lesson, that life is way too short to live in regret... So I move forward by choice. Living everyday fully, with God and my family and loving every minute of this life He has given me. And, today I can forgive others and remember their sins against me no more... a life lived with NO REGRETS.
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Thank You Lord Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins, for redeeming a wretched sinner such as I. Thank You even more for redeeming my past, my tears, my pain and my shame and mending them into a beautiful tapestry that tells the story of Your beautiful grace. I cannot fathom it, and I cannot often see what you see in me, but I am grateful for the journey, the love and the promise you have bestowed upon all who call upon Your name. You are a good God and I for one am thankful you are my God and Your love sees me through. It is in Your sweet name I pray, Amen.
