A New Heart

How many of you are thinking right this minute that your heart will never be whole again?

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Are you thinking that your scars are too large or numerous for you to ever have a day without that distant aching reminder of all that pain? Have you wondered if your life will ever feel like it did before all the tragedy and hurt came along? Have you?.I want to share some Scripture today to encourage and support you in this your hour of need. God has a plan and He will be with you in every way. Just hold onto Him. There is healing in the hem of His robe. Read on....

"[Insert your name here...] Michelle, recognize beyond all doubt and acknowledge assuredly that God has made Him both Lord and Christ (the Messiah)—this Jesus Whom you crucified (by my own sin). 37 Now when they heard this they were stung (cut) to the heart, and they said to Peter and the rest of the apostles (special messengers), Brethren, what shall we do? 38 And Peter answered them, Repent (change your views and purpose to accept the will of God in your inner selves instead of rejecting it) and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of and release from your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise [of the Holy Spirit] is to and for you and your children, and to and for all that are far away, [even] to and for as many as the Lord our God invites and bids to come to Himself." (Emphasis is mine)
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Acts 2:36-39 (AMP)
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Now as I consider this verse something resonates so deeply. My heart recognizes that Christ did not die for sin's sake. He died for our Sake. Not because Adam sinned, but, instead, because I SINNED.
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Cut to the Heart.
What does that look like?

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SO - Would it be reasonable to say after this revelation my heart might have a scar or two?
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Cut to the heart. Have you been cut to the heart?
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Behold, [in the future restored Jerusalem] I will lay upon it health and healing, and I will cure them and will reveal to them the abundance of peace (prosperity, security, stability) and truth.
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Jeremiah 33:6 (AMP)

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God gave me Jeremiah 33:6 recently as a promise for our marriage. Here is what He told me about Jerusalem. Jerusalem is the "HEART" of the Promised Land. In this particular passage of Scripture He goes on to say that He will not only lay upon them health and healing, cure them and bring them an abundance of peace, prosperity, security, stability and truth - He also says in verse 7 that He will cause the captivity of the two Kingdoms or "HOUSES" of Hebrews to be REVERSED and will REBUILD them as the first. I want to paint for you a picture of a heart that is battered, cut, bruised and bleeding. A heart in need of mending to be sure. This heart is wrapped tightly in gauze and beating furiously, but there is no healing to be found as the owner of this heart takes it to person after person. But the only thing the people do is wrap it again with more gauze and as they do the heart bleeds right on through. Never healed.
Now, put your own heart in this verse of Scripture.
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"6 Behold look here and see what I am showing you, [in the future restored _YOUR NAME HERE_'s (I.E. Michelle's) Heart ] I will lay upon it health and healing, and I will cure them (everyone I love) and will reveal to them the abundance of peace (prosperity, security, stability) and truth. 7 And I will cause the captivity of [Your Husband's Family Name] and the captivity of [Your Family Name] to be reversed and will rebuild them as they were at first. ... 9 And [YOUR HEART] shall be to Me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the nations of the earth that hear of all the good I do for it, and they shall fear and tremble because of all the good and all the peace, prosperity, security, and stability I provide for it. ... 11 [There shall be heard again] the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voices of those who sing as they bring sacrifices of thanksgiving into the house of the Lord, Give praise and thanks to the Lord of hosts, for the Lord is good; for His mercy and kindness and steadfast love endure forever! For I will cause the captivity of the land to be reversed and return to be as it was at first, says the Lord." Emphasis Mine
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Jeremiah 33:6-7,9,11 (AMP)

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Can you receive God's promise to begin by healing your heart, releasing the captivity of the generations of your family and bring restoration and reconstruction of your back to the way it was at the first? CAN YOU POSSIBLY RECEIVE THAT?
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26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone (the broken, the bruised, the damaged and scarred heart) out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh (a soft, new heart completely healed and restored as NEW!). Emphasis mine.
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Ezekekiel 36:25-26 (NKJV)

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Sometimes, as we learned in Genesis from the story of Jacob, the wrestling and the wounding comes from God and if that is the case then the remnant of the scar shall remain as a reminder of what God has done to deliver us out of our own flesh and desires. But, sometimes there is so much crippling and destructive hurt in our lives that God, in His mercy does not just leave the wound sealed by a scar... He gives us a whole new heart. One that has never hurt, never ached and never been broken. Would you receive that from Him? A new heart.
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1 "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

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2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,

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3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord,
that He may be glorified."

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4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.

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5 Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.

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6 But you shall be named the priests of the Lord,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.

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7 Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.

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8 "For I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery for burnt offering;
I will direct their work in truth,
And will make with them an everlasting covenant.

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9 Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles,
And their offspring among the people.
All who see them shall acknowledge them,
That they are the posterity whom the Lord has blessed."

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10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

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Isaiah 61:1-10 (NKJV)

On Forgiveness

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the Lifetime Movie Network Premier of Amish Grace airing March 28th. You can read about it here. The occasion caused me to do some research about the subject of the Nickel Mines school shootings on October 2, 2006.

When I come to the place where I consider that time in my own life I realize my family and I months past the first anniversary of Justin's death. During that deeply emotional season I recognize now that the trauma and pain of others usually sent me running from news reports and stories of tragedy.

Hurricane Katrina blew in the week after Justin's death and I left the television off for days unable to cope with the misery of others while trying to process my own shock and giref. I imagine the Nickel Mines shootings touched me in much the same way.  It shocked and horrified me to think a place of such simplicity and community could be touched by such horror and tragedy.  I imagined the hearts of those families shattered into pieces and ached for their losses. I remember vaguely reminding myself when I heard of their extending forgiveness that their lives are so different than my own. They live in a different world, by a different set of rules and have a different sense of community. But, the question that still lingers in my mind is this: "Are They Really That Different?"
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So, before I go on I want to administer a few disclaimers:

1.) While I believe the Lifetime Movie Network's depiction of this tragedy brings to light the reality of human response to tragedy I would like to advise all who read this and the advertisement page on this blog that the depiction is based on a book called "Amish Grace" which is a researched look at the aftermath and response of the Nickel Mines school shoorting, but in the movie characters have been fictionalized and the story portrayed is fiction. Ida Graber and family are not among the victims of the Nickel Mines shooting and the Amy Roberts is not the name of the woman who was widowed when the gunman committed suicide.  In fairness to those who have objected to the creation of this film - I woud like to say that neither the book's writers nor the Amish community endorse the film.

2.) The point of this post is forgiveness - not whether of not the ficitionalizing of such a tragic event in near history is appropriate or not. It is simply to open the dialogue about forgiveness and the truth behind it.
3.) This is not just about the Nickel Mines Schoolhouse shootings, but about how our society responded to such an overwhelming sentiment of forgiveness and release.  That the virtue of a forgiving heart was dismissed as simpleton and unrealistic.

I pray your responses will bear in mind these points of clarification. My desire is to draw out discussion not create controversy.
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Imagine a world where forgiveness happened immediately and reconciliation, restoration and restitution were encouraged as a way of life. What would our world look like if our hearts were bent on forgiving even as the trauma and wound was being inflicted.

Read more about my response to the movie Amish Grace and the subject of forgiveness here.

On Hurricanes, Devestation... and Restoration

My mind has been on Hurricane Ike a lot lately. Hurricane Ike blew in devestation, destruction and chaos for the coastal regions of the Gulf of Mexico. The mass exodus two weeks in a row left many not only put out, but scaping the bottom of the barrell as well. I think about that and consider the title of a book I own, "The Wind that Heals and Destroys" written by Stephen Broyles.
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Did you know that a mighty wind blew down the walls of Job's children's house and that is what killed them? Read chapter one again and see if it ain't so. The wind obviously destroys. Even yesterday, my husband made a bee line for the backyard when he arrived home from work. Why? Because a huge wind and rain storm blew through Sunday night and woke him up. He learned later that day that a friend of his incurred much damage and missed the day of work to see about repairs.
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But how does the wind heal? Think of it. The Pnuema of the New Testament and the Ruah of the Old Testament both represent breath or Spirit - but it could be wind as well. When the wind showed up while Elijah was crying out on the mountain - the wind destroyed, the earth quake destroyed, and the Scripture says that God was not in either of those, but instead... A Gentle Whisper. What, may I ask, is a gentle whisper? It is mostly an exhale wouldn't you say. The Breath of God descended upon Elijah. It healed his troubled heart and soothed his rattled nerves. God showed up and delivered Elijah in that moment. The wind that heals.
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How about when the storm came to the disciples on the boat? The wind and waves roared all around them, but Jesus came in not once, but on two separate occasions and spoke - exhaled the Breath of God - against the wild, ravaging wind and pelting water and what happened? The storm subsided and peace or calm was restored to the disciples once again.
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Then again, after Jesus ascended to the right hand of His Father in heaven - the wind visited the disciples and those they were teaching in Jerusalem. The Holy Spirit came upon them in a mighty rushing wind. Not just a breeze blew through, but a MIGHTY. RUSHING. WIND.
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A mighty rushing wind that did not destroy? Yes.
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Instead, it brought power and the Holy Spirit worked mightily in that service and the many acts the early church participated in, observed and worked through. The wind that heals. Do you imagine that there were some healings taking place in the crowd that day? Relationships were restored? Lives saved? We know the lives were saved because Dr. Luke was careful to tell us so. But, whew - have you ever experienced the Lord like that? He is amazing.
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So as I sit and think about the wind that heals and destroys, I think about Hurricane Ike.

Most of you know that Hurricane Ike took my husband away from home for most of September and all of October. What you don't know is that during that time God delivered big on some things I had been praying to Him about.
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In the weeks leading into Hurricane Ike's arrival, I was sealed in my healing from the grief over Justin's death. August 23rd. Prior to going to San Antonion I had gone to a weekend event at our church called Kairos which is a two day event designed to created a safe environment to experience the overwhelming presence of God and all that He wants to give you in that time. August 8-9th. That last day of Kairos God showed me some things about how rebellion had worked in my life and been handed down generationally through the women on both sides of my family. He also opened up the door for my family to be free from the Spirit of Mammon - the love of money and all that would imply. That same day God showed me something about my husband that I began to pray about. My husband's heart had turned hard against both me and God, and I had a share in the reason his heart was hard. I had done things to hurt my husband.
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I began to work it out with God then and I tried to confess it to my husband but he was not able to hear me at that time. Then he went out of town.
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Ladies, without sharing any details, I am going to tell you that while God was working to restore things that had been taken from me and stolen from our family in my life... My husband was stepping off of a spiritual cliff. And ripe with opportunity he walked into the biggest spiritual battle of our marital life with his armor completely off. Those days and weeks out of town were a fertile ground for the enemy to lay the groundwork for destruction. To open doors that should have been slammed shut.
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Still, all the while I prayed, I confessed to God and continued to walk in the work He began in me. I shared revelations with my husband and our family about how God was working and I pressed in hard asking many to pray for my husband. I became convinced that neither Scott nor his employer had sent him to work out of town - but that instead God Himself had arranged the entire experience. Little did I know what lay ahead.
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The winds of Hurricane Ike ravaged the coastal regions of Texas during those early fall days of 2008, but there was a full blown storm brewing and building during that time that was coming against my husband and our marriage in the most heinous way - and I was almost too blind to see it.
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As my husband and I drove through those wind ravaged coastal towns during his last weekend working there - I was struck by one thing... The storm would utterly destroy one house while leaving the one right next door standing untouched. We saw a home that had been literally SLICED. IN. TWO. Not even kidding about this, it was sheered in two. Only one half of the house remained. The covers on the bed were disheveled, but otherwise the house looked largely untouched. Those people were hoping and praying the storm would turn, or weaken somehow before coming ashore - but sometimes the nature of the storm is to come with all its fury, its force and its power to devestate and destroy you so that God can meet you in the chaos and speak to you with a gentle whisper.
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I had no idea that in just a few months my marriage would look like the obliterated towns of San Leone when we drove those streets and marvelled at the destruction. But, God came to me in a gentle whisper the first time the storm made landfall in our marriage and He has walked me through every single step to this place of great healing and restoration. We may not be fully restored just yet, but we are being redeemed and the process came by wind from the enemy - seeking to destroy us, but is now being restored by the gentle whispers and truths of God that calm the storm, bring peace to our souls and remind us daily of His love, grace and mercy. And all I can say is AMEN.