This week's IOW is being hosted by Nina at "Mama's Little Treasures stop on by and see what others are talking about In Other Words...
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You know... as I weigh the words of this little prayer I am reminded of Hannah and her prayer before the Lord. She wanted no glory of her own - she just wanted the joy of motherhood and the promise of an heir in her life. Samuel received an anointing from birth because of his mother's heart and her heartcry.
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In the book of 1 Samuel, the prophet erects a stone, an Ebenezer stone, and says, "Thus far the Lord has helped us."
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That picture of a stone of remembrance for all the things the Lord has done struck a cord that resonated in my "momma" heart. My son was so troubled during his 17 years. He struggled with father identity issues having been abandoned before he was born by his father. He had bi-polar disorder and a wealth of other social, emotional and mental afflictions. Yet, somehow Justin found Joy in life. He found something to live for each and every day. He wrung life out of every moment he had and often would not settle for anything less.
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One night after Bible study, I returned home and placed a smooth black stone in his no longer tiny hands. I told him that was his "Ebenezer" stone. I shared the story from 1 Samuel with him and then instructed him. "Carry this stone in your pocket and anytime you feel tempted to do the wrong thing or have others encouraging you to do the wrong thing... You just say, "Ebenezer says no."
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A few months later he told me he had lost the stone and I gave him another one. It was a beautiful testimony to the influence a mother has over her child. You know, I often think I did not value him enough, listen to his heart enough or even try to understand him enough. But, I know that indeed - no matter what my shortcomings may have been that I loved him enough. I love him still.
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This past weekend marked the third anniversary of his homegoing and I believe that I received healing this year! The joy returned and caught me almost unaware... Now, I just want to live like Justin did - wringing out every drop of life here on earth while I have it and never settling for anything less than fullness. God is so good.
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Blessings sweet IOW friends. I've missed the meme and am glad to be back. Love Ya'll!
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In Other Words is a writing meme and open to anyone who would like to give it a whirl. Just copy the quote at the top of this post, insert it into one of your own - and get to writing all about it in your very own words. It is fun, it is insightful and it is most of all a way to get those writing juices flowing... Blessings All.
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful post from a beautiful heart! You are such a wonderful person and you inspire me greatly!
Blessings
Michelle
Oh Michelle,
ReplyDeleteHow touching...
I wanted to cry when I read that on the very anniversary of your son's homegoing, the Lord suprised you with JOY!!!
This can only happen when we know and love Jesus.
Yesterday a doctor friend of ours found their 17 year old. He had hung himself. They don't know Jesus and my heart is so grieved.
Please pray for God's love to comfort them and that they would truly cry out to Jesus during this time.
(sorry to put this on the comment section)
LOVE YOU MICHELLE!!!
Valerie told me that her friend, Michelle had taken great notes..I was like "I know her!"
ReplyDeleteI read all of your notes and I so, so needed them.
I am going through one of those times where everything I thought I was going to do just underwent a minor earthquake and landed everywhere.
More than ever I needed to hear HIS words through HIS servant Beth through HIS servant Michelle!
I will be in and around my computer alot more this coming month because of a medication I'll be on so I hope to read you alot.
Pray for me and I will for you,
Love
Teri
Beautiful dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI think of Isaiah 61: as I read this post. "I have come to heal the broken hearted."
Your life is a testimony of that verse.
You have blessed us all with this beautiful post.
Hugs,
Julie
I can't imagine your pain. Your story is so touching...and I know in a way the loss will never go away but I am so glad God is helping you.
ReplyDelete