UPDATE: Thanks to those who visited my blog and commented on this post - I regret very much that I had to turn on comment moderation and hide the comments on this post due to a comment that included a link I did not wish to promote on my blog. Again, I regret having to take this action, but I am only trying to honor my convictions and could not in good conscience allow anything at my blog to redirect others to something I did not believe to beneficial in every way.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm doing the Siesta Summer Bible Study with the LPM crew and the Lifeway Forum girls. And, ladies, I just covet your prayers this day. I have had some real breakthrough issues related to strongholds I have that are idols and footholds for the enemy.
.
I want to share what I posted at the forum, because I am sure that others will relate to what I wrote... and it tells us in the book of James to confess our sins one to another... Confession is good for the soul and God and I are doing business.
.
The response is to a personal reflection question on p. 39 of the study: "What sinful desires are obscuring your identity in Christ? I don't want you to end on the negative, so after praying and naming those things, write how dealing with those sins could exposse yor God-given goodness and give you a greater identity in a world of hungry people?"
.
Here is what I responded this morning:
--------------------------------------------------------
Mine was related to my desire for approval and acceptance... In the past I have gone and spent money I don't have on a new wardrobe - literally 3 or 4 outfits at one time complete with shoes, jewelry and what-not accessories, hair style/color, etc. just to get the "right" look [whatever that is]... It is insane.
.
I realized at the end of my first marriage I had a bad habit of shopping to make myself "feel better." Then my demon of choice was the craft store. We had the most well decorated home in three counties, I'd dress it to the nines. And, this because I was angry at my abusive husband so I would spend every last dime in the bank account to feel like I had control over something and to get even! FOOLISH BEHAVIOR.
.
I carried that behavior into this marriage to some extent. The only thing, I was better at covering my tracks. I'll never forget the realization that I was "pulling my house down with my own hands" to paraphrase Proverbs 14:1.
.
I found a way to "undo" the compulsive nature of that problem, but not my emotional response that triggered it. So, this is an area where I need prayer - these are deep strongholds ladies - years - decades old. There are also some generational sin issues attached. And, there is that nagging fear that at some point the "jig will be up" and someone will discover my "nasty little secret." [So, I confess it to you all, and to God before men... I'm not kidding myself - there is much work to be done here... even if the light is shining and I am ready to clean house!]
.
The second thing is the desire I have to fix it myself. Whether it is a relationship, finances, a stronghold, someone else's pain - I want to be the rescuer - and that just ain't (pardon my grammar) how it's done. Can you say CONTROL FREAK!?
.
Laying down control is the single hardest thing I find I have to do to overcome the idols in my life. I can't play at life like one plays out the moves on a chess board. I will end up in check-mate with the enemy... and a grand chess player I ain't.
.
ALL OF THIS DRIVEN BY FEAR OF REJECTION, FEAR OF EXPOSURE, but most especially FEAR THAT I AM THE ONE THAT GOD CANNOT MEND...If I were to deal in truth with these areas I believe several key things would happen:
.
1.) I could be myself and stop hiding what I fear people will despise and be real for a change.
.
2.) Giving things over to God would alleviate the fear in my life. It would shift the control to God and away from the footholds I have given the enemy who stands accusing me before my Father in the throne room.
.
3.) What I once did to "protect" and "control" would be turned to time spent devoted to God - to pleasing Him by allowing Him to be elevated fully in my life - thus His honor and glory would be revealed as He is truly first in every area of my life.
.
This little post just saps the energy right out of you.
.
I must find the will to surrender all of this - it must start today...
.
I surrender it Lord, You can take this miserable life I've made for myself and do with it as You will. I cannot live this way any longer. I don't want to take one more step in any direction Lord if You do not go with me... I long for YOU THE MOST! You are my heart's one desire, sanctify me Lord, wash away the crusty, nasty filth I have immersed myself in for years and show me who You created me to be. I long to be full of YOU so that nothing of me remains. Show Your glory in this place Lord, Show us the way Home.
.
In Christ's name I pray, Amen.
-----------------------------------------------------------
You know I was broken an hour ago, but now my heart is filled with such joy... You see last week on Thursday night I began the monumental task of putting my physical house in order. We were having a walk through scheduled for Friday and I being the eternal procrastinator - put everything off to the last minute. Including the mountain of laundry that had been on hold for a couple of months now.
.
Now you know why I have a penchant for buying new wardrobes, because the one I already have is perpetually in the laundry. I digress...
.
So around midnight on Thursday/Friday I had gotten the entry hall, kitchen and living room standing tall! I mean the high order of eat off the floor clean. I had even spot cleaned the carpet with a hand brush and towel - it was truly inspired because I would never do this of my own free will.
.
The next morning I rolled out of bed early and began to hit it again. I had some loose ends like the kitchen table to clean up. Then I started unloading the piles of laundry collected around the house. I had asked my daughters three times to clean their rooms and their bathroom to no avail. So at 10:00 AM I threw open their doors and rolled them out of bed, too. They both were up scrambling to tidy up their rooms while I began to tackle their bathroom. One end of the house accomplished, I looked at the massive pile of clothes sitting in front of the laundry room door and thought - Oh Lord, I'll never get it done. I pulled out a laundry hamper and all the laundry baskets I could find - and my eldest and I sorted every last piece of clothing in and outside of the laundry room.
.
It was a chore and we had about 20 loads of wash amassed when we were through. I started the machine and inserted load #1... 30 minutes later I loaded it in the dryer and started load #2... 30 minutes later load #1 was still damp, so I unloaded #2 onto the top of the dryer and put #3 in the washer... My task continued at this pace for three days... No Kidding... THREE DAYS! By the time of the walk through I had done half the laundry and PUT IT AWAY which is to date the coup de grace (which I now know means the death blow to end the suffering of a wounded creature) of the entire laundry event was that my entire house is now fit for company anytime, any day - when can I expect a visit? LOL! I really should have taken pictures because it was such a remarkable moment in my life.
.
While the laundry was washing on Friday, I finished off the master bathroom, bedroom and closet and found that I was quite satisfied with the entire experience by the time I got through just in time to shower and dress for the walk through at 5:00 PM. Now let me tell you why this is so important... Because my physical house is in order while my spiritual house is still a bit askew.
.
That is what this "No Other Gods" study is all about for me. Cleaning up my spiritual house and getting things in order. I believe this process started last summer when I woke up to some serious lies I was buying and began to work my way out of that situation into a new one. The problem with buying a lie is -- you can't just return it to the sales clerk and undo the damage. I can't even sell this particular lie in a garage sale - I have to deal with the effects of the lie in my life and believe me these are lies other people have told me, lies I have told myself (obviously) and lies have been a party to by virtue of immaturity in my faith. It is a large tangled mess of cords, cobwebs and "junk" for lack of a better word.
.
Last summer I went into a season of alone that I thought would do me in, and then all of a sudden - God started speaking... I think He had been trying to get my attention but could not get through over the den of my own voice ringing in my ears. Habakkuk 2:2-3 was where He started and then on to a journey through the Hebrew Names of God - which you guys have been on board for since the first of the year - and now this study.
.
God is slowly unknotting and untangling the cords that I've allowed to twist me up and keep me bound away from Him --- He is blowing the dust and cobwebs out of those deep recesses and corners of my heart and mind and showing me places where I have pushed some things out of sight for a season or so... even decades. He is gently revealing to me the truth about myself and He is showing me that I am not the one person He cannot mend. He is God and with Him all things are possible - His Son died so that I could mend. He wants all of me, not just what I am willing to surrender.
.
I see myself as Rachel after Jacob left Laban. She had stolen the household idols and was sitting on them when her father arrived to recover the family gods. Rachel sat on them claiming she was on her "monthly" to keep them from looking under her skirt. (Genesis 31).
.
I feel like I been sitting on my gods pretending not to have them when my Father knew they were there all along. No Other Gods - is not a terrible lot of homework, but what there is brings a depth and richness of empowerment to the broken and wayward soul.
.
Let's not sit on our idols - let's give them the Heave-Ho! And let's do it right quick! I'm going to forego my Names of God post this week... I feel I really need to spend a great deal of today just focused on my relationship with the Lord. Next Week, we will study the name of God, Yahweh Roi - The Lord is my shepherd. Love Ya'll!
.
I want to share what I posted at the forum, because I am sure that others will relate to what I wrote... and it tells us in the book of James to confess our sins one to another... Confession is good for the soul and God and I are doing business.
.
The response is to a personal reflection question on p. 39 of the study: "What sinful desires are obscuring your identity in Christ? I don't want you to end on the negative, so after praying and naming those things, write how dealing with those sins could exposse yor God-given goodness and give you a greater identity in a world of hungry people?"
.
Here is what I responded this morning:
--------------------------------------------------------
Mine was related to my desire for approval and acceptance... In the past I have gone and spent money I don't have on a new wardrobe - literally 3 or 4 outfits at one time complete with shoes, jewelry and what-not accessories, hair style/color, etc. just to get the "right" look [whatever that is]... It is insane.
.
I realized at the end of my first marriage I had a bad habit of shopping to make myself "feel better." Then my demon of choice was the craft store. We had the most well decorated home in three counties, I'd dress it to the nines. And, this because I was angry at my abusive husband so I would spend every last dime in the bank account to feel like I had control over something and to get even! FOOLISH BEHAVIOR.
.
I carried that behavior into this marriage to some extent. The only thing, I was better at covering my tracks. I'll never forget the realization that I was "pulling my house down with my own hands" to paraphrase Proverbs 14:1.
.
I found a way to "undo" the compulsive nature of that problem, but not my emotional response that triggered it. So, this is an area where I need prayer - these are deep strongholds ladies - years - decades old. There are also some generational sin issues attached. And, there is that nagging fear that at some point the "jig will be up" and someone will discover my "nasty little secret." [So, I confess it to you all, and to God before men... I'm not kidding myself - there is much work to be done here... even if the light is shining and I am ready to clean house!]
.
The second thing is the desire I have to fix it myself. Whether it is a relationship, finances, a stronghold, someone else's pain - I want to be the rescuer - and that just ain't (pardon my grammar) how it's done. Can you say CONTROL FREAK!?
.
Laying down control is the single hardest thing I find I have to do to overcome the idols in my life. I can't play at life like one plays out the moves on a chess board. I will end up in check-mate with the enemy... and a grand chess player I ain't.
.
ALL OF THIS DRIVEN BY FEAR OF REJECTION, FEAR OF EXPOSURE, but most especially FEAR THAT I AM THE ONE THAT GOD CANNOT MEND...If I were to deal in truth with these areas I believe several key things would happen:
.
1.) I could be myself and stop hiding what I fear people will despise and be real for a change.
.
2.) Giving things over to God would alleviate the fear in my life. It would shift the control to God and away from the footholds I have given the enemy who stands accusing me before my Father in the throne room.
.
3.) What I once did to "protect" and "control" would be turned to time spent devoted to God - to pleasing Him by allowing Him to be elevated fully in my life - thus His honor and glory would be revealed as He is truly first in every area of my life.
.
This little post just saps the energy right out of you.
.
I must find the will to surrender all of this - it must start today...
.
I surrender it Lord, You can take this miserable life I've made for myself and do with it as You will. I cannot live this way any longer. I don't want to take one more step in any direction Lord if You do not go with me... I long for YOU THE MOST! You are my heart's one desire, sanctify me Lord, wash away the crusty, nasty filth I have immersed myself in for years and show me who You created me to be. I long to be full of YOU so that nothing of me remains. Show Your glory in this place Lord, Show us the way Home.
.
In Christ's name I pray, Amen.
-----------------------------------------------------------
You know I was broken an hour ago, but now my heart is filled with such joy... You see last week on Thursday night I began the monumental task of putting my physical house in order. We were having a walk through scheduled for Friday and I being the eternal procrastinator - put everything off to the last minute. Including the mountain of laundry that had been on hold for a couple of months now.
.
Now you know why I have a penchant for buying new wardrobes, because the one I already have is perpetually in the laundry. I digress...
.
So around midnight on Thursday/Friday I had gotten the entry hall, kitchen and living room standing tall! I mean the high order of eat off the floor clean. I had even spot cleaned the carpet with a hand brush and towel - it was truly inspired because I would never do this of my own free will.
.
The next morning I rolled out of bed early and began to hit it again. I had some loose ends like the kitchen table to clean up. Then I started unloading the piles of laundry collected around the house. I had asked my daughters three times to clean their rooms and their bathroom to no avail. So at 10:00 AM I threw open their doors and rolled them out of bed, too. They both were up scrambling to tidy up their rooms while I began to tackle their bathroom. One end of the house accomplished, I looked at the massive pile of clothes sitting in front of the laundry room door and thought - Oh Lord, I'll never get it done. I pulled out a laundry hamper and all the laundry baskets I could find - and my eldest and I sorted every last piece of clothing in and outside of the laundry room.
.
It was a chore and we had about 20 loads of wash amassed when we were through. I started the machine and inserted load #1... 30 minutes later I loaded it in the dryer and started load #2... 30 minutes later load #1 was still damp, so I unloaded #2 onto the top of the dryer and put #3 in the washer... My task continued at this pace for three days... No Kidding... THREE DAYS! By the time of the walk through I had done half the laundry and PUT IT AWAY which is to date the coup de grace (which I now know means the death blow to end the suffering of a wounded creature) of the entire laundry event was that my entire house is now fit for company anytime, any day - when can I expect a visit? LOL! I really should have taken pictures because it was such a remarkable moment in my life.
.
While the laundry was washing on Friday, I finished off the master bathroom, bedroom and closet and found that I was quite satisfied with the entire experience by the time I got through just in time to shower and dress for the walk through at 5:00 PM. Now let me tell you why this is so important... Because my physical house is in order while my spiritual house is still a bit askew.
.
That is what this "No Other Gods" study is all about for me. Cleaning up my spiritual house and getting things in order. I believe this process started last summer when I woke up to some serious lies I was buying and began to work my way out of that situation into a new one. The problem with buying a lie is -- you can't just return it to the sales clerk and undo the damage. I can't even sell this particular lie in a garage sale - I have to deal with the effects of the lie in my life and believe me these are lies other people have told me, lies I have told myself (obviously) and lies have been a party to by virtue of immaturity in my faith. It is a large tangled mess of cords, cobwebs and "junk" for lack of a better word.
.
Last summer I went into a season of alone that I thought would do me in, and then all of a sudden - God started speaking... I think He had been trying to get my attention but could not get through over the den of my own voice ringing in my ears. Habakkuk 2:2-3 was where He started and then on to a journey through the Hebrew Names of God - which you guys have been on board for since the first of the year - and now this study.
.
God is slowly unknotting and untangling the cords that I've allowed to twist me up and keep me bound away from Him --- He is blowing the dust and cobwebs out of those deep recesses and corners of my heart and mind and showing me places where I have pushed some things out of sight for a season or so... even decades. He is gently revealing to me the truth about myself and He is showing me that I am not the one person He cannot mend. He is God and with Him all things are possible - His Son died so that I could mend. He wants all of me, not just what I am willing to surrender.
.
I see myself as Rachel after Jacob left Laban. She had stolen the household idols and was sitting on them when her father arrived to recover the family gods. Rachel sat on them claiming she was on her "monthly" to keep them from looking under her skirt. (Genesis 31).
.
I feel like I been sitting on my gods pretending not to have them when my Father knew they were there all along. No Other Gods - is not a terrible lot of homework, but what there is brings a depth and richness of empowerment to the broken and wayward soul.
.
Let's not sit on our idols - let's give them the Heave-Ho! And let's do it right quick! I'm going to forego my Names of God post this week... I feel I really need to spend a great deal of today just focused on my relationship with the Lord. Next Week, we will study the name of God, Yahweh Roi - The Lord is my shepherd. Love Ya'll!
To order a copy of Kelly Minter's "No Other Gods" Bible Study from Lifeway Resources - click on the picture above.
**COMMENTS CLOSED**
Such a wonderful humble and open heart you have. I so appreciate your honesty. I know that with a heart like that God will surely not disapppoint! Keep on keeping on girl! YOu are NOT alone!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteconfession is giving a relaxation for us. After confession there is no stress with us.
Nice post.
:-)
href="http://cosmichealing.blogspot.com/2008/05/psychic-power-information-about-psychic.html">Psychic power